I hate it when you have a shit and get it all over your cock.
Probably better than getting it over someone elseâsâŚ
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Iâve done that as well and itâs preferable.
It wasnât âpreferableâ to me!
You should do something about your diet.
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Women you have known as a mate for 10 years, who tell you (upon hearing about your domestic woes) that they really fancy you and are very keen to pursue you. They offer some tangible evidence of said interest during the next couple of meetings 
. When you subsequently say, OK lets try it, they say, âwoah, woah, we need to go real slowâ.
10 fucking years, any slower would be going backwards 
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Local cricketers who think they are motivational experts.
I saw a game last weekend and the fielders would not shut up.
Before and after every ball they churned out cliches trying to fire each other up.
Go Jacko, great ball Jacko, thatâs the one Jack, come on lads, well done Jackster, keep the pressure on, in the blockhole J man, save the single lads, top bowling JackoâŚ
It was ridiculous and got so bad that I counted how many gems of shit were spouted in one over - 69!
Yep - on 69 occasions in six balls a fielder opened his mouth and something stupid came out - some fielders were shouting three times between deliveries.
WG Grace was spinning in his grave, quietly.
And Jacko was bowling shit.
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Maybe it was all they could do not to laugh.
Maybe you should have started with a peck on the cheek and building from there instead of trying to slip her one straight off the bat
Go bucks, great ball bucks, thatâs the one bucks, come on lads, well done buckster, keep the pressure on, in the blockhole B man, save the single lads, top bowling bucksâŚ
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Sheâs just got back from Texas.
Give her some time and space and sheâll come round.
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A peck on the cheek? I dont live in Downtown Abbey. I just used the Furball methodology
Good try but wrong. The one in question is from Melbourne so its probably 10 years of the wrong time zone
Dame Edna?
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the kids who play out the back of our place, on their street. I wouldnât mind but god those small girls can scream. At some point Iâll leaflet the whole road with âthe boy who cried wolfâ.Oh added to that the drug dealers who seem to be dealing right outside the flat.
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Whereabouts in Bogota do you live?
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Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @Intiniki
the kids who play out the back of our place, on their street. I wouldnât mind but god those small girls can scream. At some point Iâll leaflet the whole road with âthe boy who cried wolfâ.Oh added to that the drug dealers who seem to be dealing right outside the flat.
Whereabouts in Bogota do you live?
Errr E17 of Bogota. Been to Colombia. It was quite edgy.
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Dunno whatâs worse. First day back at work after 10 days off, or the prospect of your âfirstâ physio appointment - having only been out of physio 3 months 
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Only up the road from me, can you get their number for me?
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I was waiting for this comment. Thank you for supplying it. Iâll let you know next time I see them. It was 1.30 am Saturday so may be a wait.
