Getting all my fitness certificates stamped.
Sorting out the ingredients for a full English Brunch and stocking up on IPA for a Sunday on the sofa watching cricket.
And getting a booking for my 1st paying customer at 12:20 that afternoon.
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Wimbledon and Cricket this weekend.
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Youâve missed out The British Grand Prix too. 
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Not something watched by my partner (though from 1995-1998 I used to watch and had a soft spot for Jacques Villeneuve)
Itâs an annoyance because you canât decide which to watch?
Yeah⊠absolutely that.
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And the tour
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What tour? 
always found him a bit creepy.
This is not so much a little annoyance but a fucking seething rant
Second leg of our trip home the Ayatollah was unwell (suspect is a crime brûlée the night before) so it was a challenging drive through France - get to the tunnel drive on and it sets off
Ayatollah says she needs to stand up, gets out the car and drops into a dead faint
I rush round to help and hereâs the thing, she is out cold, I am yelling for help and people are just walking by including the absolute cunt who fucking stepped over me to get by. I mean who fucking does that - that properly upset me.
Anyway the Ayatollah is alive and not quite kicking and sporting and enormous egg on her forehead which I am struggling not to laugh at.
But on the drive back from Folkestone I vowed I would never ever walk by if someone was asking help
That bloke is still a cunt and I hope he gets terminal anal worms
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Total CUNTâŠI agree who does that. 
I certainly couldnât and havenât on one or two occasions.
Once in Shirley Avenue when a guy in a car knocked an OAP off his bike. The driver had stopped and was running around like a headless chicken, without a clue what to do. Pretty basic really, I sent him to the nearest house to phone for an Ambulance, (pre mobile days) while me and another passer-by carefully moved him out of the middle of the road. Staunched the bleeding from a nasty cut above his eye with a handkerchief and waited for the Ambulance. Tough old bugger came roundâŠinsisted he was OK and wanted to go homeâŠwe didnât let him.
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Is she ok now?
Was it just low blood pressure or something similar?
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She is fine, dehydration we reckon
She is more worried about her face which looks like she lost a fight with a revolving door
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The reaction to this REALLY annoys me.
Iâve stood next to so many âstarsâ when they have been signing shit, hell, Iâve even been in conversation with the likes of Rory, Tiger & Sergio to explain âsecurity arrangementsâ, or where they have to go next.
She is clearly watching something while signing, so fucking what?
Thatâs what happens in these situations.
May all those posting negative waves about this rot in their mysoginist hell
https://twitter.com/BermondseyBoy68/status/1149822583124254721
Ok, while youâre waiting. What do you do when you get a cable car to the top of a mountain in shorts and T-shirts and find it has clouded over and cold - thatâs right, have cold drinksâŠ
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Get your tits out
Get your tits out for the lad
What more does he want ffs
I might have misread this
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So I went to On Blackheath festival today. Itâs not the first time but theyâve changed it a bit. Generally a lovely day, sun shone, had a few drinks and saw some bands.
When it came to the headliner my friend wanted to get to the front. But didnât quite get we had to go to the front about an hour before hand. So with 15 mins to go we got as far as we could. No pushing and and no squeezing into a tiny space.
2 grown men decided to slag us off as we went by. I mean we all think it but donât say it guys!
We got so far and that was it for me. She wanted to try and go a bit further forward so I said to her to go. She then tried and a man just completely blocked her. He let many other by but not her. He then proceeded to watch most of the set on a large screen. He could have done that from the back.
There was a 6ft7 bloke next to us with a partner and 1 year old. Remember we are near the front. They had a buggy with them. My friend politely asks if she can stand in front of tall guy (there is a space). He says no. Whatâs that about?! 5 mins later he leaves.
Honestly one of my more weird gig going experiences.
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Shocking behaviour! My friend recently ended up providing first aid to a teenage stab victim in our borough. Apparently loads of adults just stood by and did feck all. She had to shout at one to get towels etc.