That is balls
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I have been offshore nearly 5 weeks and I still have 2 and half weeks to go 
now posting on the little pleasures of life 
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You get invited to a party months ago. Invites say food and drink provided and ask for any dietary requirements. They are sent off. Day of party. Told to eat before as unable to provide food for you.
So off to pub now.
Result, the food at the party will probably be rubbish and their range of gins will suck
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To add to today being completely arse we have no water in our block of flats. This is about the 4th time in 3 years. It usually takes 3 days to resolve as the water company and the management company argue over what it is. I bought two large bottles of water to keep us going.
MPs getting knighthoods given that they have been next to useless in the past 2 years
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Are they running out of people to knight?
Theyāre not running out of people to knight.
But there could be a shortage tomorrow
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FFS
I have a UK mobile. Top it up online they said. Not an issue with an overseas card/address they said. My roll over 4Gb of data expires tomorrow I need to top up they said.
I enter my credit card info and address and my country as Poland and
The fvckwits want a UK postcode.
And obviously, no chat app and no I canāt call them because I need to top up
cvnts
Canāt you just get a friend in the UK to top it up for you? Or do it online? 
Itās the online portal that is stupid wonāt accept a Polish Postcard for the registered address of my card, I moaned on Twitter & tbh they have been really good, Olivia has been chatting to me sheās getting the Customer Service team to call me tomorrow, she even wants to meet up with me at Glasto
#iamsurprised
The annoyance. Mrs P_F ducked out & dumped me to get the car MOTād.
Alone. Nobody speaks English.
I have NO idea what is going on lots of head shaking and pointing but it seems to have passed pending possibly a lightbulb - more pointing going on.
Think the guys finding it hilarious. Iām staying smiley.
Nice spot though
Best way to learn a language is to immerse yourself. You seem to be doing it well.
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I havenāt been asked yet so obviously not.
Iād refuse it, naturally.
I refused mine until my wife pointed out how we could make good use of it without actually deserving any of the advantages.
Donāt look a gift horse in the mouth.
Doing a tour of hotel chainsā¦
Premier Inn Cheltenham last night- got there late and thought Iād eat in the restaurant as too knackered to go out. Inept staff with no customer service skills and what sort of chef puts your salad under a heat lamp for 15mins before telling the staff my meal was ready?
Juryās Inn Exeter for the next couple of days. Rammed with loud pissed people on a course getting wankered in the bar (itās only 8:20 ffs!) - where Iām waiting for Young Adult #1 to turn up to go get some food - painful.
Will then be spending the next couple of days helping to clean her student gaff before we move her out on Saturday for the summer.
Joy
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I wouldnāt put it past heston blumenthal.
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He probably thinks the gastrointestinal upset is an ironic dig at modern restaurants who accidentally serve +Ā£3k bottles of red and the punters donāt noticeā¦
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Should have kept it in your trousers, shouldnāt you 
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When someone from a government department turns up at the office and all the managers go a little weird. They also get the place cleaned, theres fruit in a bowl etc.