Kitchen woes. Day 560. Someone has brought in a handy gadget that cooks eggs. Yes thanks for that.
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is it saucepan? weâve had them round my way for years srs
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That is what the kettle is for
Originally posted by @PhilippineSaint
Originally posted by @Intiniki
Kitchen woes. Day 560. Someone has brought in a handy gadget that cooks eggs. Yes thanks for that.
That is what the kettle is for
God, we used to have a dude who did that at an old office some years back.
He would boil his fucking eggs in our communal kettle â and then not bother to clean it out or even make a semi-passable attempt at washing it up in any way. Leaving all the scum stuck to the sides.
Absolute cunt.
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hmmm. A tool that cooks eggs
???
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People in the office that spend their entire lives passive aggressively rolling their eyes or tutting at whatever I have for my lunch.
Donât they know how expensive food is? If I have leftover curry from last night you can bet your arse Iâm having it for my lunch the next day.
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Itâll go lovely with those eggs youâve left in the kettle or the cheese youâve forgotten about in the fridge.
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We are actually provided cheese, and oddly Camembert is included in that. Seemed a weird choice to me.
Oh, I mean. Hmmm yeah. Lovely fish curry, washed down with a side of stilton.
Another one for the collection, inspired by this eveningâs walk home through the park.
Cunts who refuse to pick up their dogâs shit when it takes a steaming dump in the middle of a public playing area! 
Two morbidly obese skanky foul-mouthed women with a couple of mouthy little sprogs whoâd clearly been dragged up so far, rather than enjoying the steadying and loving hand of quality parenting. P*rtsmouth it seems, does not have a complete monopoly on the most miserable unintelligent abrasive wankers possible being allowed to bring children into the world. 
Anyway â this lovely âfamilyâ crossed my path in the middle of the park, and as they did so, their charming little Staffy decided to unload the contents of its stomach pretty much right in front of me, that I had to intentionally avoid.
The âmotherâ (a term I use here particularly loosely) says to eldest daughter (the other oversized roly-poly weeble shaped thing in this charming family unit) â âPick up the shit for us, eh luv?â
âI ainât fuckinâ touching that maa!â
âWell I fuckinâ aint eeeiver!â lovely mummy replied.
I watched as they started to walk away, until it became obvious that neither of these fucking disgusting fat cunts were going to do so â and I replied: âExcuse me for interrupting your leisurely evening stroll ladies â but are neither of you seriously going to clean up the pile of mess your dog has just left in the middle of this public field where children are playing football?â
The looks I got were incredulous. âYou faaakin whaaaat muuush!?!? Who the fuck you think you are, eh? Tellinâ me what to do!?â
âJust a concerned member of the public. If you cannot be responsible for your dog, then you simply should not own one. Please clean up your mess. Children play here all the time.â
[Agressively] âFaaaack off and mind ya own business ya nosey prick! I donât have a bag anyway, so I canât.â
âLovely. Thanks for that. So let me get this right? Youâve come out to walk your dog without any means of cleaning up after it? So that little performance just before was all an act for my benefit then, and you clearly left home without any intention of being a responsible dog owner. Probably never do.â
If Iâd have only had a bag on me somewhere, Iâd love to have presented it to her for her usage. But alas.
In the end I continued my onward journey home, with another volley of abuse ringing in my ears, and fortunately arrived there with the cleanliness of my shoes still intact.
What utterly disgusting filthy cunts.
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People
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When you are streaming sky on your ps4, and get the game ruined by facebook/twitter/whatsapp messages becuase your stream is on such a delay.
#firstworldproblems
Oh also, working weekends
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Originally posted by @KRG
Oh also, working weekends
Not a huge fan either. I have to do database maintenance every Sunday, which doesnât take that long, but is still something that needs to be done.
Worst of all were the crunch weekends I sometimes had to do while I was working for design agencies. My weekend for your poor resourcing skills? Why thank you, management.
Working weekends? Hmmm never heard of either. 
Having to wait twenty fucking minutes for one portion of chips!
What were you doing â growing the potatoes yourselves and peeling them all one by one in the kitchen?!
You canât rush a âbespoke triple fried chipââŚquality takes time.
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Referees who give a penalty for light pushing and then go straight up the other end and ignore a forward in a headlock being gang-raped by defenders.
How can they be so inconsistent??
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Itâs Jon Moss. He is a fucking buffoon.
Heâs a refereeâŚitâs his job.
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well heâs clearly overqualified.
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