Getting into the office early to go to the gym, only to discover you left your shorts at home.
Prat.
Skins
1 Like
Man up and wear up a skirt ffs
1 Like
When youâve been waiting all week for a Wild Tuesday Night Out In Birmingham, and you catch a cold. 
5 Likes
A sad loss to the Men Folk of Birmingham 
. Weâve been hoarding our ejaculations all week in preparation!
2 Likes
That party would have been quite a sight.
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I used to get a lot of emails from a Nigerian prince, then some Dutch bloke kept bothering me.
Anyway, I now seem to have some bloke from Argentina hassling me, thanks for this, thanks for that, all together blah blahâŚ
It all sounds great, but you just know that heâs building up to some sob story about being trapped abroad without money or needing to buy a striker.
Fucking spam.
4 Likes
Sorry Bath - missed that - a fine point though, and well made!
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Itâs bullshut spam mate.
My Argie keeps asking for cash to buy a Central Defender
When I left School I got a clip around the ear and told to fuck off and never come back again. That was a proper goodbye.
My nipper has just finished year 11 and recently had his prom. As if forking out for a suit, shirt, shoes etc that they wonât wear again unless they are up before the Beak in the next couple of years, wasnât enough, there seems to be a thing about parents turning up to witness the entrance of the overpriced limo youâve contributed to hire. Fuck that. Why would i bother going to take a photo of surly teenagers in ill fitting attire getting out of a stupidly big car? Christ alive, they already think theyâre film stars, why reinforce it.
Naturally, to my missus and her mates, iâm a miserable twat.
12 Likes
Itâs a bit annoying when you get a date to move into your new house, after a year of waiting, and the firm with your stuff in storage canât bring it to you until 2 weeks later.
7 Likes
That says to me - new TV - how are you supposed to wait two weeks without one
Ditto coffee machine
This is a golden opportunity - dont fuck it up
4 Likes
They probably flogged it all down the car boot months ago and now theyâre trying to source like products on ebay, hoping youâve forgotten a) half of it and b) what the other half looked like.
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The way that this house move has gone, I wouldnât be at all surprised if thatâs what theyâve done. Apart from the resourcing from eBay bit.
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Fortunately, I will be on holiday for one week of this period. Unfortunately, Iâve spent all my money on a house and storage and wonât be able to to buy anything else for the next decade.
The sad bit of this whole saga is that in 2 to 3 years you will catch the mrs looking at rightmove having convieniently forgotton the pain that you have been through this time.
The first sign to look for is when she puts location location on series link
There is no way we are moving again. Not even if the neighbours come as a lynch mob will I be leaving that house. I will barricade myself in, arm myself to the teeth and will happily throw the Mrs out as some kind of offering to the mob. Although that will probably just anger them further.
5 Likes
Sainsburys.
Have increased the fat content of their standard minced beef from 10% to 12% i.e. reduced the meat content by 2% but kept the price the same.
So weâre getting to dump more of the fat they would have to get rid of & we get less of the product we actually wanted in the first place.
Donât even start me on them promoting healthier lifestylesâŚ