I have never found the need to do a simple calculation to discover that 31st march 2007 is later that the 2oth February 2007
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Itâs not about the need to do it. Itâs about how cool it is. Some people are cool and others are squares. I know what one you are.
( just to clarify, youâre a square)
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You think date subtraction is cool? 
Yep, and if you name files using this format then they will always appear in the correct order when you sort them.
I wouldnât expect a square like you to understand. Undo your top button and live a little.
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Why does Mrs G always overload the dishwasher?
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Fucking hell, there is a gnome shaped one
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Try doing it a million times.
I think youâll probably appreciate it then.
On the subject of Americanismâs I loathe âCan I getâ. No you fkn canât. Whatâs wrong with âPlease may/can I haveâ?
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Back at the housing office. Oh joy. I was told Iâd be therr to complete a joint assessment at 9am. The woman who invited us in, isnât in. No explanation weâd have to join the long queue as had been told of an appointment.
What is going on with the M3 beyond Basingstoke???
They just spent ages working on it, and the result?
An extra lane, that disappears at junctions - and after all that pissing about and traffic congestion, theyâve basically converted it from a road with a 70mph speed limit to one with a 50mph limitâŚ
Well done, that was worth all the time, money and effort.
_ But Rallyboy you old misery, theyâre just testing itâŚ_
Well test it at 70mph you twats - thatâs the only way you test a fucking motorway!
And donât shut it without warning and send me down the frigging A30 with appalling signage that would send dim fuckers on a U-turn, you twats.
As for the idiots who normally sit in lane three as a frigging pace car - well theyâre all sat in lane four now.
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Accepting the Ayatollahs offer to drive whilst you get stuck into the cognac tasting and as you pass the point of no return, she smiles sweetly and declares as she is now driving, we will be headed to the retail park. Fuck.
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Used to annoy me when I worked behind the bar at University
Punter : âCan I get a pint of Fosters please?â
Me : âNo, you can pay for itâŚâ
Punter : Confused looks
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Working late. Specifically joint visit with the police when they are running late as they have to wait for a carâŚ
I always reply with âI donât know, can you?â
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I tend to think that youâre too young to drink if you use this phrase which led to an interesting altercation in my local. All I said was âCan I get three cups of beer Mrs bar ladyâ. Very touchy these bearded youngsters.
Superb. Great roll model. Best thing iâve seen at The Lights in Andover.