I’m doing it. I’ll start when I can be arsed.
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Is Lou doing the French maid thing ? I only ask out of curiosity of course, can’t be arsed to read the whole thread.
Well now, Lou bach, I feel most flattered. I reckon Goat Boy would be better though.
Louise will retain her position as head of the female household during my short absence, if that’s what you mean suspect’.
As her role also requires her to educate many of the ‘children’ under His papship’s roof, she currently wears the uniform of a governess, somewhere between:
and
I haven’t yet heard back from the one they call The Goat, Fowlly D.
Between you and me, I believe that he has another offer from The Man who is thinking of employing his own butling staff.
If you would like to be considered for the position, please let me know and I’d be glad to accept your application - for the reasons that Louise outlines above.
GB has chickened out, I reckon! All talk when he’s had a few, but then back his his dry one liners in the cold light of day… 
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I can do the French maid thing on demand in exchange for up votes. Let me know if interested.
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Don’t take this the wrong way Bletch, but having read your expertly crafted ‘greetings’ I’m not entirely convinced that the quality of ‘being very nice’ is actually an advantage for anyone hoping to follow in your footsteps.
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Oh Lou, you’re such a shameless hussy at times!
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Or con artist. One or the other
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Well, as the position appears be still vacant and time is pressing, I’ll be happy to take on this arduous task. My work will get in the way of my duties during the day, but in the evening I’m all yours (or all Louise’s, if that would work better).
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I can vouch for Fowllyd’s tea-making skills (see the ‘Tea’ thread) - hot, very strong and delivered to your room with a smile. Just right after a few beers. I’ll expect a cup every morning if he gets the butler gig and suggest all residents put in an order.
I rise at five
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And deflate 5 seconds later?
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Thanks for the reference, SO5 4BW.
Out of interest, and apropos of nothing in particular, but what time do you wake up?
As Louise has already stated, it appears that Gay Boot has hobnailed it away in panic.
As a result, and as time is pressing I can’t involve him in the interview process.
The job is yours, Flyd Owl. Many congratulations.
I will be in touch via PM to share my pap Palace guest room spreadsheet, (I seriously have one) and to provide instructions on terminology and the correct capitalisation of His papship.
I apologise in advance, but some of these instructions are a little anal. I apologise because I know you’re very anal, so dealing with something that is only a little anal may be problematical.
There is also a slight backlog of welcomes that you could make a start on.
Welcome on board.
pap, please may Butler Most Fowler have a badge hewn from the granite features of Gordon Jackson?
Added. Requests taken under consideration, but got a different Gordon Jackson picture.
Congratulations to Fowlly D. I think we can all agree that his was a solid application in a tough field of candidates. If we all lie.
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Er herm.
Your Royal papship
It’s not my position to question your judgement on such things, your papship, but I was wondering if you might see yourself able to attempt to describe your thinking when deciding to implement a temporary butler badge that affords the recipient double the points of the FUCKING permanent one.
I remain as ever, your bitter, twisted yet faithful servant.
Bletch.
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Quite right bletch, but never say I let such wrongs go uncorrected. The badges have been brought into line; your points have been retroactively updated.
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Shit, there were points in offer??! Damn.
Geez Lou, you need to stop being such a points whore! Points don’t mean popularity, everyone on the forum loves you, you don’t have to have points to prove that…
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