šŸš« 'Stoptober' - its crap

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Father Jack does stoptober.

Vanuary is when I pick up chilly hitch hikers.

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I know all too well the hot breath of that black dog. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat an entire Toblerone. And I donā€™t mean a small one. I mean a medium-sized one. Once, I gorged on Toblerone and drove to Dundee in my bare feet.

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I started on Toblerone and the odd Milky Way but before I knew it I was straightlining 70% dark from the freezer.

People think that things like Terryā€™s chocolate orange are harmless Christmas or Easter presents but they are just a gateway to the harder stuff.

I canā€™t even count the number of times Iā€™ve woken up at a distant bus station wearing someone elseā€™s pants and one shoe, with what I hope is chocolate smeared all over my face.

Thanks for letting me share.

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Chocolate. Ah yes a distant 24 year old memory.

Breaking teeth crunching into a Yorkie on a winterā€™s morning before I learnt to slowly suck them off.

Then I moved here And, in the same way locally imported wheat works on my digestive track, I found the horrors of liquid goo.

Some then itā€™s been deep frozen Paatchi or nothing

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Green & Blacks 80% with Remy Martin is my crack. Drank half a bottle before Iā€™d noticed. A nibble, a sip, a nibble, a sip, a nibble a sip. You can see how it happened.

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Sucking off a Yorkie?

As long as you do it slowly itā€™s OK, apparently, but they donā€™t like it done quickly. Itā€™s not the county of Geoffrey Boycott for nothing you know.

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I was more wondering if I should call the RSPCA to be honestā€¦

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There have been no recorded complaints from Yorkies - they seem happy to be the victims in this case so the police have no leads, and I canā€™t see theyā€™re going to collar anyone soon.

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DCI Bob Martin is wondering if theyā€™ve been barking up the wrong tree.

Sucking off a terrier, really?

Itā€™s amazing how low some people will stoop.

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Iā€™m going to do this year (apart from a weekend in Germany where Iā€™ll get fucked up bad). Iā€™ve just told Mrs Fatso that Iā€™ll do it and she has laughed and said Iā€™ll not capable. Sheā€™s trying to goad me into doing something that Iā€™ve already said Iā€™ll do. She knows I wonā€™t do it.

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Hey Fats, are you giving up smoking?

Fuck that

Sucking off a Terrier, I dunno

I will make this announcementā€¦in the month of October I will stop drinking (other than one weekend I Germany ) but I will still smoke like a cunt. One day I will stop smoking and drinking completely and live a long and happy life.

I also will stop Drinking for three weeks in October in sympathy with @Fatso