My shits have never been the same since having to endure the non âedgyâ music after doing some dodgy tab at Glastonbury in 1990. Funnythat they were getting better until having to endure Barry recounting long lost glory day Glasto bollocks.
I managed this once. My life has been one huge, messy, sometimes painful disappointment after another ever since.
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just to butt in here
having just arrived back at work and during the journey stopped in Labuan over night where the hotel bar serves botttled Guiness. Which for the life of me is bloody difficult to get in the Philippines. So imbibing of a few of these little stout bottles my shit is now jet black and pebbledashing the pan like a gardner powerwashing the driveway.
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Malbec? I know two people that refuse to drink it, because they say theyâll be shitting the whole of the next day.
Malbec is clearly the best grape. Beautiful. I wonât drink the merlot as it gives me the headaches.
See what you did there Phil ⌠very clever
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Damn, you guys that canât handle red wine are pussies, just had a bottle and my solid excretia tomorrow will be just as solid and regular (as clockwork) as normal.
Same here, bottle of red wine and a couple of Ales a week. All will be normal tomorrow!
I am a bit behind catching up on various logs, and I hate to be a party pooper, but this thread really has turned to shit hasnât it? Gone right down the pan in my estimation. It seems to have taken a turd for the worst. The battling cable layers, are one moment flush with success at their latest delivery, only to get the bumâs rush and dumped on from great heights in the wink of a brown eye later from their Porcelain straddling adversary. From Tales of The Ultimately Satisfying Perfect Clean Wipe, no skiddies Crimped Curler, to disarse-terous exploits of Pebble Dashing the Khazi based on various food/drink intakes, is this taking toilet humour too far? Iâm surprised we havenât had a chain reaction from the aptly named Jack Schitt and Coxford Loo on this matter.
However I have to say I am most impressed with the accuracy of @fatso 's time keeping.
I can only assume that he keeps a Log Book next to The Throne 
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Can a Mod change the title to the âSotonians Kidney Stonesâ
It is closer to the content ?
Wow ⌠that is all a bit weird ⌠just logged onto FB (pun not intended) and lo and behold Iâve acheived My 7 Years Anniversay of Joining Faeces Book (pun intended this time).
A Sotonian Milestone 
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Definitely an important date for the diarrhoeay. 
Soz for that ⌠been on it all night and Iâm feeling somewhat âjadedâ at the moment
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Very disaâpooânting Steve. But youâre obviously feeling the âstrainâ and I donât want to âpileâ any more pressure on you so Iâll âwipeâ your slate clean on this one 
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Off to Egham today for my elder stepdaughterâs graduation - she has a 2:1 in history from Royal Holloway, and a very good 2:1 at that. She came back from India last Thursday (a trip for which numerous posters on here were kind enough to sponsor her) and a couple of insect bites had caused her left foot to swell to somewhere near twice its normal size. Thankfully itâs a lot better now, which means that sheâll be able to wear a pair of shoes!
Out for a meal at her favourite pub by Windsor Great Park this evening, just to top off the day.
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Congratulations Anna! Firsts are for swots.
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The ladies in the house have got all the milestones so far re Uni etcâŚBUT 
This coming season will be number 60 as a Saints supporter 
first taken as a 7 year old on the terrace at Milton road end 
Pushed over the top of the turnstile to save money âŚto the wall behind goal with my orange box 
My grandfather, Father and Uncles with the rest of their dock work mates up behind me somewhere talking shiiiite and abusing everyoneâŚflooooods of orange coloured water or was it watneys ale flooding down the terrace 
I think it is 60 years and I think it is Saints I supportâŚold ageâŚNurse more medication please.
AND i am only 21âŚI think
COYS Lets have another one. 
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My daughter is doing work experience at my place of work. Iâve managed to embarrass her twice in 48 minutes with inappropriate workplace comments.
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Pretty piss poor effort that tbh.
Agreed, unless she has reported you to HR then you need to try harder
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Tommy Mulgrew clap clap clap clap clap Tommy Mulgrew clap clap clap clap clap !
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