Normally with an American accent
I rest my case. 
Selby getting beaten by Zhang, so reverts to his usual default of ultra slow attritional play to try and break his opponents rhythm.
I’m switching over, this could take months.
… we’ve just watched the whole of The Thomas Crown Affair.
And Selby is still grinding this game out.
Zhang 6-5, through to the final vs Mark Allen. 
Allen looks like cruising to the win here. 8-6, and Zhang is generously supplying a little tiny helping hand whenever Allen gets himself in trouble. It’s been a close match and Zhang was ahead until 6-6, but looks as if he’s lost his composure now. Plus the balls are running against him, he’s had a few really unlucky breaks including playing a beautifully struck shot off the blue to open the reds, only for a red to shoot out of said pack into the corner pocket. Allen duly cleared up.
A bit of mazing sportspersonship by Ronnie…
Black goes on it’s spot and might have blocked an easy pot but the black may have rocked or may not have.
Ronnie wasn’t comfortable with the situation and played a safety when he could have potted the red easily.
…
And because of that Ronnie goes on to lose the frame…maybe
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And lost the match
Trump well on the way to beating himself in the final at the moment. Keeps fluffing important shots, drifting out of position and generally making very hard weather of it. Currently losing 8-5, I’ll be surprised if Wilson doesn’t finish this off.
…and as if by magic, Trump pulls a bit of form out of the ether. 8-6, Wilson now starting to creak a little. This could be a decent finish.
9-7. Trump with a couple of half chances to level it on the pink, but he doesn’t look at all confident on the crunch points.
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Blimey. 9-9, deciding frame.
Trump’s been trying and missing doubles all day. Finally pots one to set off on a potentially match winning break, but the balls really aren’t running for him. Ploughing on through treacle though, and lets Wilson in with an easy opener and every remaining ball free. Duly does the business and wins the title.
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That’ll teach him.
He should stick to annoying Canada and raising tariffs
John Higgins v Mark Williams, what a match…
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What an absolute cock John Virgo is making of himself tonight. “WHERE’S THE CUE BALL GOING??!!” Well, it’s going about a yard wide of the in-off, John, you blind old cunt. Same as the last twenty you’ve screamed at.
I reckon he’s told one of his mates to put a bet on.
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I’m surprised they have Virgo commentating on the evening session, they never used to. It’s no secret that he has had a bit of a drink problem for years, he always used to do the morning sessions before the bars opened, after that all bets are off! Some nights he really does lose it, slurring and talking to himself. Bless him!
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I should be a snooker commentator
I can do that
I’ve just found the transcript of Zhao Xintong’s interview by the Snooker Association about allegations of complicity in match fixing.
Panel: “Have you ever played John Higgins?”
Zhao: “Yes.”
Panel: “Guilty.”