Site announcement : edited threads

Originally posted by @Barry-Sanchez

I’m watching you from now on.

omg compile a dossier!

2 Likes

Originally posted by @Bearsy

Originally posted by @Barry-Sanchez

I’m watching you from now on.

omg compile a dossier!

No bollocks to that.

I forgot to say I am a twat but not a racist, this bell is a right whopper.

id like to see this branch out into SotoniansCam, where we all post via webcams so we can all keep an eye on each other. I have a sneaky feeling that some members of this board are masturbating whilst posting and I want to see that.

7 Likes

I’m knocking one out right now as I type.

Would you stop if you saw me wearing a Burkha?

3 Likes

Ha Ha I’d have to consult my dossier.

1 Like

No, you’re a tit.

It would have to be the size of a marquee

I like this thread because I have no idea who is being serious, who is joking, and who changed their mind halfway through in order to try to save face.

4 Likes

I think I can guess who’s changed face but there is no need to go there, we’re adults not rappers.

BOOM, shake shake shake the room

2 Likes

oh good, glad to see this is all sorted now! Just so I can update the relevant dossiers, is it that Sarb thinks Barry is prejudiced against Musolids, and Barry thinks Sarb is oversensitive about this because i.e. Sarb’s eastern heritage, and we’ve all agreed to defer the matter until the full dossiers are referred to CPS?

2 Likes

I reckon Cherts is more serious than he’s letting on. I know we’ve had much mirth and mayhem on the matter of dodgy dossiers, which Cherts has contributed to himself.

However, the first mention of this dossier wasn’t in one of Cherts’ posts. It was in one of Fatso’s. The Chertsey Original is sadly no longer with us.

Our truculent Tory would have you believe that from the very first mention, the whole thing has been a gigantic jape with a comedic climax so earth-shaking that other comics will seek out all prior works and set the fire to them.

This paranoid papster isn’t purchasing it. I’d like to let it go, but every time I do, Peter Falk pops into my head and says “there’s just one more thing”. The bugger’s right.

If the dossiers really were the greatest Sotonians jape of all time, why would you cut off the opening lines, especially if they were important? And these were important. If Fatso hadn’t quoted the Chertsey chap, no-one would be discussing dossiers at all.

Seems an odd way to go about your comedy.

1 Like

erm i think you’ll find that there has been rumours circulating about secret dossiers on here since as far back as June 2015. It seems to me that in a fit of rage Sarb overstepped his authority in saying what he said, and has since been reined back by the shadowy figures what are operating behind the scenes.

I have no doubt that this goes all the way to the top srs.

* Pls everyone wipe ur hard-drive after reading this. I have already eaten my phone. *

1 Like

Originally posted by @Chertsey-Saint

Erm, yes it is. Go back and have another read.

Where’s that leave your theory then?

haha yeah it is! Stupid pap.

3 Likes

Originally posted by @Chertsey-Saint

Originally posted by @pap

Originally posted by @TheMightyOstrich

I like this thread because I have no idea who is being serious, who is joking, and who changed their mind halfway through in order to try to save face.

I reckon Cherts is more serious than he’s letting on. I know we’ve had much mirth and mayhem on the matter of dodgy dossiers, which Cherts has contributed to himself.

However, the first mention of this dossier wasn’t in one of Cherts’ posts. It was in one of Fatso’s. The Chertsey Original is sadly no longer with us.

Our truculent Tory would have you believe that from the very first mention, the whole thing has been a gigantic jape with a comedic climax so earth-shaking that other comics will seek out all prior works and set the fire to them.

This paranoid papster isn’t purchasing it. I’d like to let it go, but every time I do, Peter Falk pops into my head and says “there’s just one more thing”. The bugger’s right.

If the dossiers really were the greatest Sotonians jape of all time, why would you cut off the opening lines, especially if they were important? And these were important. If Fatso hadn’t quoted the Chertsey chap, no-one would be discussing dossiers at all.

Seems an odd way to go about your comedy.

Erm, yes it is. Go back and have another read.

Where’s that leave your theory then?

I look a twat.

The theory is intact. Besides, previous form is often an indication of future performance :lou_sunglasses:

3 Likes

I was at the pub last night with Goatboy who insists you’re on a wind-up.

Given the increasingly bitter feud and the fact that the issue has flared up before, I’ve given it more credence. I can’t say anything more without betraying specifics of our private conversations.

Whether you’re on a wind-up or not, it doesn’t look good. If someone is taking you even half-seriously, they’re going to ask why the fuck they’d post anything on a site where those sort of characters lurk.

Fortunately, the Sotonian matchday brain trust has solved this little puzzler. The camp was initially split on the best resolution. Half think you need to fight each other. The other half think you need to fuck each other. Fortunately, we’re as adept at defusing conflict as we are at creating it. A compromise was reached.

We’re going to organise an event where the pair of you meet, semi-naked and oiled up, in an arena of some kind. Tickets will be sold, and bets will be taken. Will they fuck? Will they fight? If they fight, who’ll win (I reckon Bazza will whop ya, personally). If they fuck, who’ll be bottom bitch?

bletch wants to lay an unlikely accumulator where you fight, fuck and do much more, but is afraid to put the bet on because the itemised betting slip is so degraded, he thinks the girl at Ladbrookes will shop him to the rozzers for sexual menace the minute he whacks it on the counter.

1 Like

Snigger.

Shirty wants to fuck Bazza.

Snigger.

1 Like

Cherts should wear a hijab and sandals for the courtship.

1 Like

… and show Bazza just how social integration really works…

… from behind.

1 Like