:saints:šŸ•“ Saints' next manager

Still no news on the Gerbil? :lou_sad:

This from Twitter…

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Originally posted by @saintbletch

This may or may not have happened (to me)

http://www.snopes.com/risque/homosexuality/gerbil.asp

ā€œIn retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil,ā€ Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew ā€œKikiā€ Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

ā€œI pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in,ā€ he explained. ā€œAs usual, Kiki shouted out ā€˜Armageddon,’ my cue that he’d had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn’t come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.ā€

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. ā€œThe match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski’s hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil’s fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball.ā€

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

I remember reading a very similar story to this in the daily sport about 20 years ago, either it’s the same couple or broken noses from high velocity rodents is a common injury in the felching community.

That’s EXACTLY what I want to know. The indignity of it. :lou_angry:

Well the link is from snopes.com - who set out to prove/disprove urban myths, so I think it’s fair to say this probably didn’t happen.

And 'slowlane - rest assured that no gerbils were harmed in the poking of this fun.

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That’s good to hear. :lou_lol:

Getting back on topic, hearing mumblings about Jurgen Klinsmann possibly being in line for the job. His odds are rapidly tumbling as well. Not really sure how i feel about that in all honesty.

He has a decent win rate as USA manager, but some of the sides they play most under 16’s could beat TBH, though they did very well at the world cup.

Still, think I’d prefer Pellegrini. His record makes him the outstanding choice.

** Right…why couldn’t you say that hours ago!** Bloody callous fucker. :lou_angry:

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Pretty sweet that sotonians is still getting all the major scoops! The go-to place for latest & best Saints related news i.e… I didn’t even know that people used a cardboard tube to insert gerbils into their bumholes, I dunno what I thought happened really. I thought they maybe shove a bit of carrot up there first as enticement, I certainly imagined you would keep a firm grip on the tail, stand to reason. But apparently not. I’ve googled on work computer for Methods of Inserting Gerbil Up Ass tho, and cardboard tube does seem to be Standard Practice.

Educated, and informed. Well done everyone.

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Pulis? no thanks.

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bum bowler

titty top hat

ballbag beret

is this?

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klinsman is cheaper and more likely to let our players be sold lived in the USA when coach to the German national team has no premier experience as a manager and limited club management sacked after a few months sadly this is a cheap option i will give the board a year as i have paid for my tickets but it would indicate along with the sale of Mane how i will spend my money in teh future

Nothing to add before you get excited, just in from work and catching up on the thread.

Originally posted by @Fatso

It’s a big call to make, Jack. ITKs live or die by this sort of crystal clear announcement.

Indeed, as I said, effectively placing balls on the chopping block. But I wouldn’t be doing so if I didn’t trust in the info I’m getting, and the person it comes from.

Let us not forget though, regardless of the managerial outcome, a lot of what I’ve shared has already been confirmed as accurate. The Targett incident confirmed by our Club historian, Koeman himself confirming what my source revealed about the nature of his departure, the delays with Erwin and Jan’s contracts happened as I [my source] said it would, I spoke of the two new contracts due to be announced very soon – next day – Steven Davis signs [the other is pretty much done now bar dotting i’s and crossing t’s] – and Adam Blackmore himself confirmed that the whole of my original account from that first meeting ā€œpretty much nails it, and is in line with all I have heard and knowā€.

So it’s not like I’ve got no record for accuracy, is it?

Even so – if my last post about Pellegrini/Puel proves to be untrue, I’ll not run away and hide like a pussy – I’ll be the first one on here to take whatever comes my way with good grace. I’ve offered nothing but an honest account of what I’m being given, and have nothing to hide from. Work will be a different matter, as a number of friends have sizeable bets on Manuel now, and I’m sure I’ll get absolutely fucking blasted if it doesn’t come off. But even so, I’ll man up and take what comes.

I do not believe it will come to that though. :lou_lol:

Originally posted by BTripz

Thanks for the update Jack, one thing that does concern me though is that the club are effectively telling Puel he is second choice should Pellegrini decide to not take the job, surely if that comes to pass Puel could say ā€œthanks but no thanksā€ with his head held high?

I thought that too mate – but at the end of the day, the great beauty of the club [or at least my source] ā€œusing meā€ in this way, is that if it does come to that, it is very easy to simply say ā€œoh, no, that was just some loony twat on the internet. Nothing to do with us sir.ā€

Originally posted by @Chertsey-Saint

Wow, Pampelmousse has a BIG problem with you Jack. I hope you didn’t finger his wife.

Who on earth is ā€œpamplemousseā€? And why would I give a fuck what s/he thinks about me? And as for the wife fingering business – probably best we don’t drag up that ā€œfurryā€ clusterfuck again. :lou_wink_2:

Originally posted by @Halo-Stickman

I see someone mentioned Jurgen Klinsmann on the other place.

Have we entirely ruled him out, here on Papsweb?

Ralph used to play lots of ice hockey in Germany, after all. :lou_lol:

I’ve said before already mate, that no matter how confident I am in my source – we cannot discount the possibility that not just myself, but all ā€œfriendly mediaā€ are simply being used to conceal our main target. But if that is the case, and it turns out to be Klinsmann – I’ll be massively underwhelmed.

Right, have to get off round to my Dad’s now with supplies. A good night to all.

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Klinsmann now favourite with the bookies. It is not going to be him.

Originally posted by @Sfcsim

Kilnsmann now favourite with the bookies. It is not going to be him.

I still have the feeling it’s someone that we aren’t even thinking of. I would be happy with Pellegrini, but past history suggests someone from left field (sorry, baseball analogy). With both MP and FRK, it was a surprise but the choice made sense. I still think there’s going to be something like that.

But please, not Klinsmann. He has been boring and tedious for USMNT.

I would still love Frank, but happy with Pellegrini.

Someone either knows something or people are just ploughing money on our favourite German!

8/11 now!

I don’t think we should read too much into ā€œbookies favouritesā€ given that virtually every manager in the world has been favourite at some point.

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