Anal
Anal can mean a few different things.
Most involve digging around a bit.
Anagram of Alan.
Also Lana. Who probably enjoys it.
So does Alan
Anarchy
The problem with anarchy is that someone always ends up becoming an authority —
usually because some bastard thinks things would be better off with them in charge.
Anarchy in the UK is both a Sex Pistols smash
and the general state of things these days.
People are less likely to defer to authority, have their own facts,
and are looking outside the usual suspects for their next quasi-criminal government.
The trouble is, the bastard who wants to be in charge next
is probably a much bigger bastard than the ones we’ve got now.
My advice?
Keep it constrained to the mosh-pit. No bastard wants to be in charge there.
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Derek someone???
Not especially, unless of course, it was a fellow Sotonian.
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Andrew
That’s enough of a clue
He should keep trying. I think he’ll pull it off.
Ant and Dec
Ant and Dec are popular British TV presenters who dominate the ITV reality television schedule.
While they’re known for shows like I’m A Celebrity and Saturday Night Takeaway, they’re most famous for causing widespread confusion as to which one is which.
To be fair to ITV, Ant and Dec are always presented in Ant-and-Dec order, left to right — so the public really has no excuse.
The fog of confusion was finally lifted after one of them appeared in court on a drink-driving charge.
“Ah, so that one’s Ant,”
…a nation finally said.
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Some years ago i used to have the occasional trip with a few lads to a well known titty bar in town where there was a bird called Sasha who used to show her Ant and Dec aka her half bald twat and little arsehole.
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Apathy
There are three kinds of people in the world:
- People who make things happen
- People who watch things happen
- People who wonder what the fuck just happened
Apathy — the quality of not giving a fuck about not giving a fuck — will land you squarely in camps two or three.
And that would be a bad thing.
If you cared about it.
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What is the definition of Apathy?
Faking an orgasm when you are having a wank.
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Apple Computer
Apple Computer is a company that mentally kidnapped around ten percent of the tech industry with a series of over-priced, over-hyped devices disguised as spiritual awakenings.
Apple is not interested in the plebs dragging around dusty old PCs.
It wants the pretentious professional — the latte sipper, the hot-desking documentarian, the podcasting brand consultant who uses the word “storytelling” like it’s a verb.
Apple people introduce their latest AirBooks with more ceremony than their first-borns.
If only babies came with airbrushed edges and aluminium shells instead of soft internals and screaming.
The moment everyone should have walked away was when it was discovered that Apple deliberately throttled battery life and performance — to push people into buying newer hardware.
You could wave that red flag in their faces like a matador.
But they’d simply blink, shrug, and escape to the nearest Apple Store to buy a replacement for something they can’t upgrade.
Whenever anyone asks me if I have an Apple Computer, I reply:-
“No, I’m technically competent”
Look up the Veblen Effect
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Arcade videogames
An invention that allowed the direct extraction of cash from children’s pockets from the 1970s to the 1990s.
Arcade videogames provided cold, hard cash to their owners, and seemed like a bargain to parents just looking to get rid of the kids for a couple of hours.
If they’d known how many nonces gravitated toward these venues, they might’ve thrown them into a ball pit instead.
Today, you can play most of these games at home —
without the threat of empty pockets, secondary lung cancer, or latent noncery.
Argos
Argos is a famous UK chain designed for one purpose:
To stop shoplifting.
The model was simple.
Every six months, they’d print a catalogue the size of a paving slab, filled with pictures of microwaves, jewelry, garden furniture, and inflatable water slides.
You’d pick what you wanted at home, write down the product number, then trundle down to the shop to see if they actually had it.
The shop itself feels less like a store and more like a bookmakers with a warehouse — especially since both used the same tiny pencils.
These days it’s all done via touchscreen terminals instead of catalogues and pencils, but the basic premise remains:
Stop people shoplifting by removing all the stuff.
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To their credit, Argos do display some items — but it’s usually either:
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Tat with zero black market value, or
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So large you’d need a transit van and a distraction heist to make off with it.
The chain was bought out by Sainsbury’s, which is one of the reasons it’s still around in a world ruled by Amazon.
They remain a trusted source of goods for the ultra-impatient, the deeply nostalgic, and people who need a toaster within 17 minutes or they’ll explode.
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Arsenal FC
Arsenal Football Club is an English Premier League team with a history glittered with trophies — especially during the 2000s, when the team were known as The Invincibles.
The club is also notable for being geographically the furthest from its origins of any top-tier English side.
Originally called Woolwich Arsenal, the club’s current stadium — the Emirates — sits twelve miles away from where it all began.
Plans to start a Direct Human Cannonball Link from Woolwich Arsenal station directly into the Emirates have been repeatedly described as ridiculous, dangerous, and a threat to Transport for London’s match-day revenue.
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That could work, if they named it the Cannonball Run.