Yep, the magic money tree is alive and well and blossoming in Mrs May’s garden. Behind the big wall. The one with the ‘good’ cladding.
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Fucking cunts. They can find a billion quid to get the DUP to jump into bed with them, but there’s no money for the NHS, emergency services, social services, armed services (feel free to add all those I’ve missed).
May and her cronies should be forced to resign. They’ve proved beyond all doubt that they don’t give a flying fuck about anyone other than themselves.
This is a new low, even for the conservatives and I am fucking angry
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…Fuck’em!.
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If the dumb fucker had spent a billion quid on the NHS/Police/Fire Service/Teachers in the first place she probably wouldn’t have needed to get dry butt fucked by the DUP.
An awful Prime Minister leading a team of bastards.
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Seriously lost for words. £1.5 billion! My goodness! I don’t even know where to begin, so desperate!
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Keep up Steve 
… only 24 hours behind then
Adult Unit #1 and I have not agreed on much in the last three days, but we did agree on the sounds for the trip back home, Both of us wanted to be fed news. What a day to get it. We started off with James O’Brien on LBC, discussing Grenfell until the DUP news came in. He asked how the British government could feasibly maintain impartiality when the DUP go back to the province with a hypothetical billion in their hands. And it is presently hypothetical.
My understanding of the deal is that the full whack is dependent on getting power sharing back on the agenda.
It has already put Sinn Fein in a crap position. They’re opposed to going back into power-sharing without an inquiry into Arlene Foster’s renewable energy scheme. If they don’t agree to talks, Foster gets to claim that SF are holding back hundreds of millions of investment from Northern Ireland. May has handed the DUP a tactical advantage.
The DUP should be careful what is wishes for. Even if it gets its wish, the destruction of SF as a political force, it’ll just enable more moderate republicans like the SDLP, who will take their seats and vote against them in future Parliaments, Stormont and Westminster…
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Man you have missed some crazy shit while you’ve been away!
Theresa went unstable, so did Cherts and Sebastian Vettel, then Theresa found a magic money tree and organised herself a coaltion of chaos by getting into bed with terrorist-huggers who deny scientific facts and want to lock up women who have abortions, then Radiohead performed a fucking dull set but we have all decided to pretend it was good because we were drunk, then Boris had a shocker on Radio 4 while his boss snubbed some more fire victims as they were chucked out on the street because we couldn’t be arsed to build them safe tower blocks, and Ed Sheeran’s set went down a storm with his audience of 12 year old girls and copyright lawyers checking chord patterns.
Meanwhile, your mucker Jeremy just sat back and thought, ‘fuck me, my work is done, she’s all over the show, I’ll just sit quietly’….and we appointed a manager who half the people thought was the craggy-faced bloke from Man City, I did a Sparks gag that confused a lot of people, then Phil said Katy Perry was talented, and a hush fell over the whole site - at Glastonbury and on here.
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@dubai_phil may well think that Katy Perry is talented, but she was not the choice of myself or ms pap.
We headed up to see Tove Lo at John Peel. She got her baps out, @rallyboy .
I confirmed with ms pap that it wasn’t “a really clever bra”.
That sounds more like it but the whole gig sounds way too busy for a miserable fuck like me.
It could be a Tits, Fish Fingers and Hot Chocolate Festival, but if there were 200k people there I’d still choose to watch it on the telly.
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Hahaha. Yes, it is hilarious that the political party who led a campaign to, and i quote, “save Ulster from sodomy”, should be so enthusiastic, and may i say obviously well practised when called upon to butt fuck the British PM. The daughter of a vicar no less!
I blame the parents! 
Monday 26 June 2017
London estate agents insist market is ‘booming’ after woman pays £1bn for house on Downing Street
Theresa May buys Downing Street for £1bn
London estate agents are today claiming the London property market is extremely buoyant after a 60-year-old woman paid £1bn for a terraced property with an SW1A postcode.
With many buyers around the capital waiting to see the impact of Brexit on property prices before making unnecessary house moves, the £1bn purchase of 10 Downing Street has left many estate agents predicting a bumper summer of commissions.
Agent Simon Williams told us, “To be fair, the agent that sold that place on Downing Street got lucky by finding a very motivated buyer who also happened to have access to her own money tree.
“Sometimes you get a crazy offer, and you just have to take it before they change their mind or get a good look at what they’re actually buying. When the stars align like that it’s hard not to make a deal.
“To be honest, she has massively overpaid, and I can’t help but think it’s a deal she’ll come to regret in time, but who cares, the agent will have long since spent his commission by then.
“Actually, now I’ve heard about this magic money tree of hers, I don’t suppose she’s also interested in a fixer-upper one-bed flat in Clapham is she?”
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How the mighty are fallen. She has gone from strong and stable to a laughing stock in a few weeks. She really needs to go. And quickly.
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Much hilarity in the House of Commons when an SNP MP pointed out that each DUP MP is now worth more than Cristiano Ronaldo, adding, “I don’t know what this says about Ronaldo’s skills”.
For context:
Pogba, 89 million.
Bale, 85 million.
Ronaldo, 80 million.
Nigel Dodds, 100 million.
Ian Paisley Jr, 100 million.
Jeffrey Donaldson 100 million.
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When you consider £35m for Andy Carroll it doesn’t seem too daft 
Have Liverpool outbid May on any DUP members yet?