More bad news for Donald Trump.
Apparently, Stormy Daniels has killed 5000 people in Libya.
The taffs are reducing every 30mph speed limit to 20.
Nice gesture I suppose, but I didnāt actually need any more reasons not to visit Wales.
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Itās almost as it the Welsh Labour front bench have a sweep stake about how far they can push the electorate before they get voted out
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Weāre taking the piss, weāre taking the pissā¦ā¦we are Welsh Labour, weāre taking the piss
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My penis is only 3.14 inches long.
It is a bit of a Ļthon.
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Iām not saying Iām old.
But these days, when she leans over and whispers āyour pad or mine?ā sheās asking which of us has pissed ourself.
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ā¦ incidentally, I considered posting that under Streaming Recommendations.
Iāve just been on a barging holiday.
I didnāt have a boat, I just walked along the canal pushing people in.
What a morning. Itās taken nearly seven hours to put all the clocks back.
Mind you, thereās a lot of cars on this forecourt.
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Ah is it that time of year to post that one again? Still amusing though
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I was booked to tune a piano, but the customer had to work. She told me āthe keyās under the mat. Let yourself in, tune the piano, leave the bill on top. Ignore the bulldog, he wonāt hurt you, but whatever you do, do NOT under any circumstances speak to the parrot.ā
Sure enough, the dog was massive but he just laid on the mat quiet as a mouse and watched me work. But the parrot was cursing continuously, calling me every name you can think of. Finally I cracked, called it a mangy bastard and told it to shut its beak.
It just looked at me and said āGet him, Spike.ā
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Iāve been knocked over every day this week by the same bike.
Itās a vicious cycle.
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Thatās what you get for walking on the psycho-path.
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I went to a charity shop earlier today
and picked up a couple of shirts and
some neckwear that used to belong to
John Phillips of the Mamas & the Papas ! 
All the sleeves are brown
and the tie is grey ! 
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Two Thai girls invited me for a threesomeā¦They said it would be like winning the lottery. They were right. We had six matching balls.
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A young Scouse woman was so depressed that she decided to launch herself into the Mersey, but just before she did a handsome young man stopped her.
āYou have so much to live forā, said the man. āIām a sailor and we are off to Australia tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. Iāll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happyā.
With nothing to lose and the prospect of going to Australia, the woman accepted. That night the sailor sneaked her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. āWhat are you doing here?ā asked the captain.
āI have an arrangement with one of the sailorsā, she replied. āHe brings me food and I get a free trip to Australiaā.
āI seeā, the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, āPlus, heās screwing meā.
āHe certainly isā, replied the captain, āThis is the Birkenhead ferryā.
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My wife wanted fancy dress ideas for her works party.
I suggested a camel outfit, and sheās gone and got the hump.
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