I hope not.
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Just shows doesnât itâŚcrime doesnât pay. 
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Iâll do my best to keep in touch. Donât like to deprive you of my contributions. Xx
Nooooooo! 
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When do you go? Maybe practice now for when youâre out on safari and out of mobile range?
Tomorrow but will be fine in Capetown and Joâburg so donât worry.
But Iâm worried whoâs going to police the grammar in my absence.
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Yes. Heâs had plenty of practice. Doesnât need to practlse. (trying to be diplomatic and subtle)
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Wasted effort 
One for @Polski_Filip
Little Richard is a decent gardener, heâs just been round to mine.
He lopped all the rhubarb, he lopped bamboo.
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A burglar entered a bedroom, tied up the husband and wife, kissed the wifeâs ear and went to the bathroomâŚ
The husband said to the wife, âsatisfy him or he will kill us both, be strong. I love youâ.
Wife said," he whispered in my ear that he is gay, he needs lube and I told him itâs in the bathroom. So be strong, I love you too".
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Q: Why do men usually die of old age before their wives?
A: Because they want to.
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I spotted a couple of tenners and two pound coins on the pavement.
I was about to pick them up, but suddenly thought âI bet thereâs a catch.â
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A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognised it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier:
He said to the female whale. âLetâs both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink.â
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon, however, the whales realised the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore.
The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female âletâs swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.â
At this point, he realised the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
âLook.â She said âI went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen.â
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Sounds like my ex-missus.
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Fucking front door is always going. Four bangs on the door yesterday. Opened it and didnât immediately see anyone there. I look down and see a couple of salad vegetables.
âLettuce inâ, they said.
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Ffs
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People still think that Sikhs are exempt from wearing crash helmets while riding motorbikes, but thatâs not actually the case.
Itâs a turban myth.
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What is this, âTerrible joke Tuesdayâ ???
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