I thought I’d banned you. 
Always plan ahead financially for the things you really want in life.
For example, I’ve saved over ten grand in cash since 1977 to bribe the mortician when Debbie Harry dies.
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My gardening friend suggested I put horse manure on my strawberries. I tried it but on balance I’m sticking to whipped cream.
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Is that the joke that got Jerry Sadowitz banned?
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Did you know that…
- 90% of all dogs will seek out your genital area when first meeting you
- The other 10% can be trained with peanut butter
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Not that I know of. I would guess that was more of a J K Rowling routine, but I haven’t seen it.
I’m reading that one of the reasons for Jerry’s ban is because during one of his routines he got his knob out and waggled it at a member of the audience. The mind boggles as to what the routine was about!
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My dad had massive strawberries growing directly above our cess pit. I didn’t eat them!
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I’m guessing he might have been referencing the trans community 
Edit, just saw this…
One audience member said: “I was at the show. He called Rishi Sunak a ‘paki’ and said the economy was awful because it is run ‘by blacks and women’.
See, I’d have gotten away with that.
She would have mistaken it for a pube.
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Stop boasting 
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I was at a Taylor party this weekend. My uncles and I always have the same conversation. The pitiful size of the “Taylor endowment”.
It’s been a constant drag on all of us. We had to develop intellects and personality to compensate.
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Keep trying then 
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To quote Graham Taylor (not, as far as I know, part of the agricultural Lymington branch)
Do I not like that.
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My girlfriend always insists that I text her when I get in.
That’s how small my cock is.
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(Stolen) Valery is also going to do his coaching badges after his move as he wants to get into Angers management.
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FFS 
Do you have mobile signal where you’re going on holiday?
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