The missus is critical of my cooking. She thinks Iām too scientific.
She can fuck off if she think sheās getting her her test tube on toast.
1 Like
Thereās a small German town near Munich called Pfilzerplatz, and the town is renowned for producing fine stationery.
Anyway, Munich had a problem ā the thousands of stray dogs in the city were breeding with one another and overrunning the city.
So the people of Munich banded together and ran the dogs out of the city.
Unfortunately, the dogs appeared in Pfilzerplatz. The dogs took over everything, and the mayor decided to evacuate the town. The paper mills were shut down, and everyone left.
But a couple days later, the townsfolk, watching their town from the hills, saw smoke rising from the smokestacks.
They knew no humans were left in the town, so they concluded that the dogs had learned to operate the factories.
The mayor hurried to Munichās town hall and pleaded, "Youāve got to help us!
The mills are alive with the hounds of Munich!"
3 Likes
Iām sorry. I find the wonder of crap jokes incredibly amusing.
Hereās the fucking master, yo!
4 Likes
I have no problem with that.
On a similar themeā¦
Stolen from a T-Shirt.
My wife says I only have two faults.
- I dont listen
- Something else
3 Likes
I have a black eye to go with the broken tooth.
Mrs P_F said I needed to take her out for the evening, somewhere really expensive.
Seems the local petrol station wasnāt what she had in mind
4 Likes
My ex-wife wanted me to treat her like a princess.
So I pimped her out to an arab and had her killed.
5 Likes
š¤¦
Donāt plan on any vacations or trips to the WC anytime soon
My wife said, take the spider out donāt kill it. So we had a few beers. Nice guy. Heās a Web designer.
4 Likes
Just read a new crime novel. DCI Adam Dalgliesh solves the murder, but dies of gonorrhea.
Itās by VD James.
1 Like
I know itās not good for me but Iām addicted to the protein in products like Shredded Wheat and Quaker Oats for my breakfast.
Alcohol such as Whiskey made from Rye and Barley wine. As well as bread and pasta .
The question is,
āAm I a gluten for punishment ?ā
My girlfriendās nickname for me is Justin.
She started calling me that after the first time we had sex.
There was a guy on my pool team called Justin, we had team t-shirts made with our nicknames on the back (I know, I know).
We had 1" put on the back of his shirtā¦
1 Like
Did yours say āCuntā? 
1 Like
1 Like
November 9th. Our 9/11.