Really?
Was he heavy metal or Disco?
I always thought he was a jock called McHammer. 
Tell you what…I’ll get your coat. 
Someone could always report the post and I could “silence” him for a while!!
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Reported for intimidation.
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This is a @scotty level joke…
Did you hear about the two guys who snorted curry powder?
One of them now has a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma.
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My girlfriend has something of a feline quality.
She keeps leaving dead mice on the kitchen floor.
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Three blokes are on a boat with 4 cigarettes and nothing to light them with.
So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
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Two Scottish ducks on a tandem. The duck at the front says “Quack!”.
The other duck says, “I cannae pedal any quacker”.
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Two nuns riding bikes down a cobbled street. One says to the other, “Do you often come this way?”
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Just watched a film of a black woman’s pussy getting pounded for 30 minutes straight.
I love Tom and Jerry.
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After the footy I went and threw a ball for my dog.
Its obviously expensive, but he looks great in a dinner jacket.
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I woke up to a blowjob this morning.
That’s the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
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An elderly gentleman of this parish,(no names - no pack drill), took a trip in his classic Volkswagen to visit the pharmacy in Romsey.
He asked the nice lady assistant for six viagra, cut into quarters.
She replies, “I can cut them for you, but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection”.
The elderly gentleman replies, “I’m 96 years old, I don’t want a full erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don’t piss on my slippers!”
9 Likes
He doesn’t go to Romsey for them, he just walks round the corner to the Baddesley one. 
It’s certainly just around the corner for you. 
The 10 Best Caddy Replies
10 – Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.” Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”
9 – Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.” Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”
8 – Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?” Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.”
7 – Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?” Caddy: “Eventually.”
6 – Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.” Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.”
5 – Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of A distraction.” Caddy: “It’s not a watch - it’s a compass.”
4 – Golfer: “How do you like my game?” Caddy: “Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.”
3 – Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?” Caddy: “The way you play, sir, it’s a sin on any day.”
2 – Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.” Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”
1 – Best Caddy Comment Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.” Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”
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I just sold a car to Kylie Minogue. Took £500 off the price in return for a quick stroke of her arse.
It was a pert-exchange.
Did you know that soul singer Bill Withers had a brother called ‘Bear’ who wrote telephone hold music?
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