Not for the squeamish or easily offended, so I shall refrain from posting the text of it here. But this joke from the current version of sickipedia is worthy of the original site…
Pan fried of course?
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Al dente, I believe.
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Cleaning up my phone apps.
I suppose it’s safe to remove TripAdvisor and Ryanair.
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“It’s a bit embarrassing doctor,” I said, “but I’ve been married for 20 years now, and she’s not as tight as she used to be. Can you suggest anything?”
“Well, it’s a taboo subject, and obviously you’d need to speak it over with her first,” he replied. “But have you considered using the other hole?”
“What??” I said, aghast. “And end up with a houseful of kids?”
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The wife called me whilst I was at work yesterday lunchtime and said she had terrible stomach pains.
“Well, what have you had to eat today?” I asked her.
“A few slices of toast, 3 sausage rolls, 2 bags of crisps, a large portion of chips and cheese, lasagne, 2 slices of birthday cake, a Mars bar and a chocolate flapjack”, she told me.
“That’s it, then” I said “you’re probably hungry”.
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“Sarcasm won’t get you anything,” said my boss.
“Well, it got me first prize in the World Sarcasm Championships last year in Toronto,” I replied.
“Really?” he asked.
“No,” I said.
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In case anyone’s wondering, I just stumbled across a load of old sicki gags from the original lost site. I’d forgotten I had them 
(I’m picking out the clean ones, so this won’t take long.)
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I was showing my grandmother how to use Google Images.
“Pick something to search for,” I told her. “Anything at all.”
“How about a nice cream pie?” she replied.
“Except that,” I said.
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Just seen a car parked across three spaces.
I’m not sexist, so I’m not going to speculate what gender she was.
A glance over the shoulder, a flick of the hair and a lick of the lips can be the sexiest thing in the world.
But according to my doctor, it’s not appropriate during a rectal examination.
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My girlfriend reckons I’m no good in bed.
I don’t see how she can make a judgment like that in less than a minute.
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Took a girl back to my place last night.
As we got into the bedroom I said, “I’m going to shag you like no man has ever shagged you before.”
“Oh really?” she smiled.
I said, “Yes, now put this chicken costume on.”
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I’ve written an erotic novel aimed at the premature ejaculation market.
“She walked into the room, naked.”
The End.
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“There’s something I need to tell you,” I said to my date over the restaurant table. “Fuck, shit, bollocks, cunt.”
“You’ve got Tourettes?” she frowned.
I said “no, my wife’s just walked in.”
I ducked under the table to hide. “Fuck! Fuck!” I told my secretary. “My wife is here. This is a disaster.”
“Don’t be stupid,” she replied. “She couldn’t possibly object to you having lunch with a work colleague.”
I said “she could if she thought I died in 1998.”
To be continued… 
I love walking hand in hand with my beautiful girlfriend along the beach, with the waves lapping gently at our ankles.
Until the LSD wears off, and I’m dragging a mannequin around the Aldi car park.
“ooh,” said my wife with a shiver. “Someone just walked over my grave.”
“Here’s the clothes pegs you asked for,” I replied, making my way across the patio.
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I was in Liverpool when this little kid had a tantrum and threw his red toy car out of the pram.
By the time it hit the floor, it was blue and the VIN had been changed.
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