Saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay this morning and thought to myselfâŚ
Wonder what his handicap is?
7 Likes
Did someone mention golf?
1 Like
Name? Terry Waite
Specialist subject?
Lebanese interiors and radiators circa 87-91.
5 Likes
A girl I know was sexually assaulted by a troupe of mime artists last night.
They did unspeakable things to her.
1 Like
No they fucking didnât.
My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied lubricant
2 Likes
My Grandparents were midgets.
For years they struggled to put food on the table.
8 Likes
Congratulations to Spurs on winning the AUDI Cup.
And good luck to them in the upcoming LIDL Trophy.
My car broke down so I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine.
He said âHello Sir, you are a handsome fellow and very nicely dressed too".
I could see the problemâŚ
Bat flattery
4 Likes
My wife was asked to play Jabba the Hutt in an amateur production of Star Wars.
âShould I do it?â she mused. âIt would mean a lot of messing around with makeup.â
âCertainly will,â I assured her. âYouâll definitely need to take it all off.â
1 Like
My missus is insisting I quit my job because she thinks itâs cruel weâve started testing our new products on rabbits.
I suppose sheâs got a point, I work in a hammer factory.
2 Likes
When a Welshman says âthis is my fantasyâ, he could be talking about his fizzy drinkâŚ
3 Likes
Iâm not saying Iâm effeminate.
But when I asked the barman for a stiff drink, he put powdered viagra into my half of shandy.
Which Pub was that?
asking for a friend
1 Like
The Flaccid Cock.
4 Likes
Simply put a % sign after your age to find out how dead you are.
4 Likes
I donât find this funny
3 Likes
The joke presupposes that youâll live to 100 years old. How fucking old are you?? 