The jolly old Bishop of Birmingham,
He buggered two maids while confirming 'em.
While they knelt down to God,
He excited his rod,
And pumped his epispocal sperm in 'em.
6 Likes
Three men left Southampton for 'Pool
One legend, one useless, one tool
The fans thought him weird,
as he had a shit beard
But the cunt was convinced it looked cool
13 Likes
There was an internet troll called Fry
Who thought he was witty and wry
But his idea of wit
To many was shit
And appealing as pussy that’s wizened and dry.
3 Likes
There was a sad old git on the forum
Who tried to keep a level of decorum
When attacked by trolls
And internet proles
And found it best to ignore 'em.
1 Like
That legendary chap Balti Stench,
Thought long and hard about Louise Mensch.
As he pictured her muff,
His poor rotator cuff,
Just crumbled - my, how he did blench!
4 Likes
There was a CEO called Cortese
Who despised all those he thought lazy
He spent other’s money
As if it were honey
Although Champions League ambitions were crazy.
3 Likes
There was a young man of Dundee,
Who was stung on the nose by a wasp.
When asked “Does it hurt?”
He replied “Not a bit!”
“It can do it again if it likes.”
2 Likes
There was a footballer called Le Tiss
Who used to take the piss
With the ball at his feet
God status he’d meet
And penalties would never miss.
(execpt one)
As mine are so crap I have nicked this one…
There was a young lady from Hitchen
Who was scratching her croth in the kitchen
Her mother said "Rose
Its the crabs, I suppose"
She said, "Yes, and the buggers are itchin’ "
1 Like
There was an old lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar felling
so she laid on her back
and opened her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling
1 Like
There was a poster call Big Bad Bob
Who was thought of as a knob
To this forum he slipped
and renamed himself Btripz
still can’t post pictures of naked Nuns, he’d sob
2 Likes
There was a lady called @LouLouMySweet
She’d make many hearts skip a beat
A sabbatical in Texas she planned
Before Trump had her banned
Since then we’ve not heard a tweet
1 Like
of grammar and style I’m a fan,
and structure is always a plan,
that helps verse along,
but when it goes wrong,
it suggests the creator of said piece has never come across the concept of rhythm or has even heard of the word scan.
6 Likes
A man in the crowd showed dislike,
I’ve been had, he declared, what a tyke !
I was promised something sapphic
Naming infants in traffic,
but instead We’ve got Fonte and Van Dyjk
Ok weakest yet, but I still think I’m winning
*drops mic*
*apologises and puts it back on stand*
2 Likes
Yep, three men left Southampton for 'Pool gets my vote!
There was a place way down on the South Coast
whose inhabitants delighted to boast
with all manner of poor grammar
they stuttered and stammered
about who shagged their sisters the most.
2 Likes
Their extra digits came very much in handy
whenever their families were randy
which was most of the time
and they’d ran out of wine
there was always the trusty hand shandy.
2 Likes
There was a young fella so handsome
He’d hold all the ladies to ransom
He’d pull out his cock
And call it a clock
If challenged, he’d say “put some hands on”.
Down south is a place called Ports-mouth,
where they live in a wheely tin house,
the people are pervs
and their customs absurd,
they all like fucking fish in the mouth.
2 Likes