Just googled Gordon Ramsay’s Jizz cake recipe, no results 
Thought it would be a cool surprise pudding for Sunday. You can’t buy his jizz in my local Sainsburys though … As I discovered.
Cheers Dude, your username has me worried though 
The description and review are great.
Product Description.
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cookbook!
Review.
This recipe book is very practical, it saves on tissues and allows me to use all of my natural harvest and put it to a good use, whereas otherwise it would get wasted. - review on lulu.com
4 Likes
“it saves on tissues”
Priceless.
2 Likes
Pro tip … Use olive oil for a stir fry rather than adding your own “man juice” to the equation.
I once worked for a company that built a new studio for the sculptor, Anthony Gormley. It was a difficult job and lost a few bob, but some of the lads were invited to the opening, which was filled with YBA’s and the great and good of the British art scene. Gormley showed off some paintings he had done using his semen as a base for the “paint”. They weren’t that good to be fair and he didn’t like it when one of the boys said, “Well, you could say that it’s a load of old wank, then”
Philistines, the lot of us.
5 Likes
1 Like
School proms.
When did they become a ‘thing’? When I finished at Henry Beaufort, we had a crappy school disco in the sports hall. It was pathetic in the way only the British can make something truly pathetic. But, frankly, that was all we needed. Plenty of us went on to Peter Symonds and those who didn’t were probably only too glad to see the back of that school.
16-year-olds getting all tarted up and hiring limousines to go to some prom frankly seems a bit weird to me. I guess I became aware of it when my nieces finished school a few years back In some ways, what they were doing seemed even more pathetic than that dreadful disco all those years back at Henry Beaufort.
Look at this.
Midsommer Norton. All these kids dressed up and parading around that dismal town in the middle of nowhere in Somerset. You too can have your limo drive past the bleak coal tips left over from the coal-mining heyday. Maybe it is all to blot out the dreadfulness of their existence….
1 Like
Hasn’t salted taffy been about for ages and is rumoured to have started when a sweetshop was flooded with sea water and the woman sold it as salted rather than throwing it away.
Just been over my friends house in Ashurst and he’s complaining about his daughter’s Prom Night. A load of fuckin’ American rubbish he says. His other daughter’s Prom dress cost £250 two years ago…it sold on Ebay for £30 after the event.
This year his daughter wants to go in his 1931 Lagonda with 3 of her friends in his VW Split Screen Bus…he’s not happy at all.
The seniors at my school had a disco and film night in 1965…the film was “High Noon”…we were not impressed but on the Bathsaint scale of naffness it would have rated quite highly.
1 Like
Disco?! Bloody luxury! When we finished school we handed back our book and fucked off. That was it. Kids nowadays dont know they’re born.
6 Likes
Book?! You lucky bastard. You don’t know you’re born.
6 Likes
I went to Noadswood and we had books which even had words in them and punctuation in the right places…mostly.
We looked down on everyone from Applemore, Hardley and Testwood.
1 Like
My son is off to his prom, and looks bloody smart and clean shaven for a change.
Still, I told Mrs C_S it was a mistake not sewing pads on the knees of his trousers. I’m sure they still think they’re 11 year olds and sliding across the dance floor on their knees is the height of sophistication and a surefire way to pull the girls…
Our Year 11 had their prom last night. One of them turned up on a horse with hooves painted to match her dress.
Some of the girls had secreted in vodka and white powder (provenance unknown). @goatboy and his van would have had a field day about midnight.
7 Likes
Noadswood? Pah…we used to make mincemeat of Noadswood in Football and Cricket when I was at Priestlands, Lymington. 
Not in the '80’s you didn’t - at least in the footie.
Seem to recall that we called Priestlands “The Shirtlifters”.
Thought it quite witty at the time.
In the '60s we were Imperious, red-blooded hetrosexual males, that ripped the heads off little Waterside chickens.
1 Like
Knew of a guy that had just passed his teacher training, attended a year 13 prom, got wrecked with the students, then proceeded to neck a student slap bang in the middle of the dancefloor.
He ain’t a teacher no more.
Dozy twat.