âŚand the chequeâs in the post. 
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I will not cum in your mouth comes to mind 
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Pie or mustard
Whatâs not to like? Simple and perfect.
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Both together. Donât get me wrong, love English mustard on all sorts of stuff but pork pies give me the gyp something rotten
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Invented something resembling a Chicken Provençal tonight - chicken, onion, garlic, red pepper, courgette, tomatoes, passata, bacon, olives, anchovies in red wine and chicken stock, and very agreeable too. Especially with a newly-discovered NZ Pinot Noir.
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Heathen.
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I am a late convert to mustard
Hated it for most of my life - I think because a twatty uncle made me eat a spoon of Colemanâs when I was four
Started with Frenchâs , Then recently got into grain mustard (definitely a gateway condiment) progressed to Dijon and now use the Colemanâs powder for meats rubs (fnarr) - still canât deal with the Colemanâs jar shit though
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The jar shit (best get small tube) works for things like potato (& sweet potato) bacon & spinach Gratin. 
On a school night?
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Scary.
I just bought the largest jar that Tesco offer because it goes with everything.
NB When I say just I mean the last time I went to Applemore.
Applemore- made up name for fucktards 
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Sounds mad but doesnât taste hot. Cooking out the mustard takes away all the heat but leaves the flavour. Give it a go! Youâll thank me.
Youâve convinced me. Iâll give it a try and report back, especially on Mrs Sâs reaction.
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Where do you place it on the âbest reds Iâve ever tastedâ scale? And where did you get it? Iâm keeping an eye out for a case of a really top red to pick up for the bird at Christmas. As a broad guide, she prefers Riojas and Merlots, ok with Cab Sauv, and strongly dislikes Shiraz.