Glastonbury 2016

Glastonbury 2016


Thanks for that Phil…bloody good read.

I do get it…the Adele and The Coldplay thing that we’re all too cool to admit to…you have to be there.

Like John B Sebastian at the 1970 Isle of Wight…traffic chaos and a whole host of afternoon star acts can’t get into the site. So a man and a guitar has quarter of a million people eating out of the palm of his hand for over 2 hours…you have to be there. :lou_lol:


Thanks Slow Lane

OK The Uncle Phil Guide to Surviving Glastonbury - Especially for Soggy :slight_smile:

  1. Do not Camp at Glasto unless you are 18. If you’re older than that, then send family members there to queue two weeks early and pitch a Circle of Tents with some mates and wind breaks. But then you will have people rolling in their tent & elbowing you in the nuts all night :wink: It is about a 2 mile walk to a car park - 4 miles if you are up in the Park area - you have to get your kit there - that means a wheel barrow or something with BIG WHEELS.

  2. In the name of all that is Holy do NOT go with Babies in Buggies (unless they are 4 x 4 Buggies - no matter how many people we saw, their faces simply said WHY? Sure going with Baby may be better than missing the event but by choice? Same applies to going with Kids - take a pair of Reins with you - ESPECIALLY if you have young teenagers :wink: And no, no matter what you do you will not have Power or Mobile Service or will power

So you have to Glamp. That means Campervan - to get access it MUST have fitted sleeping & Cooking facilities - a White Van with sleeping bags and a Portaloo isn’t gonna hack it, that means borrowing or hiring one. With the Van you can also put up a Tent so you can get 4 or more mates together. You have better loo access (Portaloos instead of Long Drops) and somewhere to lock stuff away and cook a breakfast.

You can Yurt. This may seem expensive but it gives you a secure unit bed & shower It MAy be cheaper than renting a Campervan for 2 people


Campervan - get there a day early! As was seen this year, by 6pm on Wednesday the Camper fields were unusable so huge numbers were parked up at the Bath & West Showground meaning you had to be bussed back and forwards. Not great at 1am.


Set your Alarm for 5 am Monday morning throw everything in the Van and be home by 06:45. OR you can get pissed up Sunday have a lazy breakfast and spend 6 hours in traffic jams waiting for a tow


Under 35’s and real men wear Shorts & Wellies and Poundland Rain Ponchos’. Normal Humans? - We need somewheer to sit. You’ll be at Glasto for around 12 hours. It is ALWAYS a Mud Bath even when the sun shines. Wellies MUST be the first things in the bag. Walking Boots second. Around the campsite - Flipflops are a Godsend. Walking Boots are more comfy but when the water is 2 feet deep you get trenchfoot. Even when Sunny, the Urinals will be ankle deep in a Piss based Mud, you really want that oozing into your socks at 10:30 at night?

Camping Chair - this is for me a must have - and with a Cup Holder for your Beer/Cider! also IF you get one with a Big Bag, you can fit Waterproofs into it as well as a fleece for evening time. When it is chucking it down through a boring ZZ Top set, having a Cowboy/Aussie Bush Hat is a must but when wet it weighs about 18 Kg by Midnight!) Goretex helps but if you are shopping look for Pockets that you can reach while seated. Why? Well you will need phone smokes, Baby Wipes Power Bank, Emergency Munchies and the all important Poundland Ponchos! (Yes even Goretex gives up after about 6 hours of rain plus the Poncho can be used to sit on or wrap up muddy chairs

Meds are pretty important too - Brufen for strains & hangovers, Sunblock - ffs even I got burnt in two hours on Friday & also really useful Isotonic Drink Powder for those moments when the CIder Beeer and other stuff blow you away

A Big Brolly is annoying, a Poundland Brolly is useful but only lasts one day but they are essential.

In an ideal world I’d recommend NOT taking a Chair because it does get heavy and it does stop you joining the Rave at Arcadia later at night. Corporate Types could have bought two chairs for 18 quid each day - but that was 4 pints of Hot & Spicy Cider - sod that.

Is all that stuff ESSENTIAL? No. Does it make Glasto comfortable? Hell yes.

Power Banks - Absolute MUST. Check the MwH rating of your Phone - most Iphones & Samsung are about 2400/2600. That means a 4800 will recharge you TWICE. So you will be there 4 days. The EE Recharge thing is for Mugs tbh - a low MwH rated Bank and then an hour long queue in only one location to swap for a recharged bank. Better to invest in your won. I found a Solar charger 7200MwH - would do two phones at once and then leave in the dashboard of the Van and it would be full again by the time you got home. Of course - didn’t need it as we had Mains Power - duh.

This year for the first time I had access to a Hiking Stick - lightweight Car Boot Sale type piece of kit. In that Mud at my age with my knees, thank Christ I did. It stopped me falling at least two or three times and helped me get up and down hills.

Boots? B&Q 5 years old cost 7.99 now done 3 Glastos. Sod all that trendy shit, just get comfy ones and break them in (And pack Corn Platers in your Med Kit for Blisters!)

Bon Liners & Freezer Bags. Wallet Phone & Smokes all needed to go in a Freezer Bag, it rained so much Friday afternoon we were soaked to the core. Couple of people near us had Waterprrofs with open pockets - put their Mobile in Pocket - it was a swimming pool! Bin Liners to wear, wrap around knees or pack stuff into. IF you are in a Tent inside Glasto it is essential to keep your kit farily dry.

Do you NEED to take Booze? The Boys were all "We’re gonna take beer in every day. Well Day One they each packed 6 cans - by lunchtime they were knackered from carrying the weight. Yeah it saves you 2 or 3 quid a pint but is the hassle worth it, there are bars every 500 metres ffs. Oh we’ll drink back at the Tent - Yes IF inside Glasto but in a Campervan? How much beer do you want to drink at 1am after Adele? A stiff shot of Whisky may be…

So as my Mum said Oh my God how Dreadfull all that Mud, I felt so sorry for you.

But it is NOT like that - you KNOW it will be wet & Muddy so in this Bear Grylls World we can go down to Blacks or Mountain Warehouse and buy the right kit. Poundland Ponchos are BRILLIANT and work equally well (OK you get wet arms). With the right kit you can tackle the mud, then it is about deciding what bands you HAVE TO SEE, what you’d like to see if you can and then explore as much as the Conditions and your age allow you to.

Me & Mrs D_P are sorted for next year already, we will get Villager Tickets IF we cannot get from the actual sale, and will be back (health willing) Uber Glamping again. Will next year be at Glasto or will it be at Longleat (Oh now THAT will be a traffic disaster)

Meanwhile. Who wants to start a SAVE THE PYRAMID STAGE Petition?

My mate is involved in replacing it and shipping the old one to? Yes Dubai - due here late September/October.

Michael Eavis was THE last ever performance on that Legendary Stage

Think I’ll do food & drink tomorrow


I do NOT want to spoil the new 2017 Glasto Thread with a moan so decided to put it on here.

Ed Sheeran is going to be the Closing Headline Act at Glasto 2017.

What the actual fuck are you thinking?

Look I respect Ed, I like his music. His gig that followed Dolly Parton 3 years ago was really good fun.

But it was NOT HEADLINE material.

Are there seriously so few PROPER ROCK BANDS left on the planet these days?

Fuck, JayZee deserves to close the show more than Ed FFS



Do we have a Glastonbury 2017 thread yet?

Re Ed I feel the same but then I felt like that about Adele. I probably prefer Ed’s music slightly over hers. He had those 3 nights at Wembley Stadium a few year’s back and all over the top 20. He’s popular. I remember catching him at Reading Festival in the BBC lounge thing.

As I did with Adele I wandered off to see something else. Because of the mud didn’t get anywhere so had rum hotchocolates up in the park whilst Jarvis Cocker had a drink in the vicinity. I preferred that.

As I don’t have a ticket for Glastonbury this year (hoping resale will come good) it may not be something I worry about.


Have ANY of us got tickets?

Like you waiting on the resale. But tbh it’s our fault, we weren’t totally committed after last year as Mrs D_P can’t go as her old school in Krakow is having a massive reunion that weekend with people flying from all over the world. We also went the usual way but in fact SHOULD have gone for Coach packages - especially as we have a mate’s garden to park our camper van in.

Ed was bloody brilliant as the act straight after Dolly Parton. The whole singing/dancing along to Sing was one of my great Glasto Moments.

It’s just IMHO Ed vs Metallica? Ed vs the astonishing Audio/Visual/Sensory experience that was Coldplay.

It’s not an is he popular thing, I know his show would be a great karaoke night - but then so are the Human League or Bryan Adams shows.

IF he was the last but one act I’d be there watching him, but The Closing Act? Even Adele wasn’t given that privilege.

(Also being mean, I know as long as I don’t piss him off I have tickets)


Wait until you find out they let Coldplay close 2016.

I was with the cool kids over at LCD Soundsystem


tbf Pap in my defence I was at Queens of the Stone Age when they closed Glasto properly



Ed Sheeran is not my cup of tea. The rest of the family love him, so I have to sup from his cup of gingery acoustic “ooh look I’m a rapper sometimes” shite with a regularity that I do not enjoy. This is one of the reasons I monopolise the car stereo on shared trips with my own music. Very little chance of Ed.

Glasto 2017 will therefore be the third Glastonbury in a row that I’ve attended where I’ve not watched the closing Sunday night act. I swerved Kasabian (ok band, fans have higher than average dick potential), Coldplay (ditto, except tasteless dicks) and now Ed Sheeran. I’m missing nothing. I saw the orange little blob desperately trying to please in 2014, and while I found that endearing enough in an afternoon slot where I wasn’t doing anything else and could earn brownie points with the fam, he’s not a good choice to close out your festival on the main stage.

Time to find next year’s LCD Soundsystem. Grooved my arse off. Had a ball.


Now that is fucking closing Glastonbury!