Giving your seat up on the tube

So this morning I was stood on the tube travelling to work, when a heavily pregnant lady got on. NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY, got up to let her sit down. I felt like saying something, but I didn’t which I regret.

Now in my opinion I think that’s horrific, and I tend to give up my seat to anyone that is either (a) a woman, or (b) looks over the age of 60. What are others thoughts on this? Have you ever witnessed this?

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The only time anyone ever gave up their seat to me, when I was 7 months pregnant and working in London, was when I actually fainted!

It’s a tricky one because I genuinely think people are completely zoned out when they’re on the tube, and just don’t spot people. The badges help, but you’ve still got to be looking. I’ve given up my seat plenty of times, but it’s usually when I’ve only just sat down or am about to get off, when I’m a bit more observant. When I haven’t spotted someone and someone else does, then I feel really guilty!

My sister said the worst time of her pregnancy was in the early days when she had no bump - but then how are people supposed to know?

The only answer to this issue I can see, is that people should stop getting so angry about it, and just politely ask if someone would mind - whether that’s doing it on behalf of someone else you’ve spotted that needs it, or asking yourself (which is harder). Only get annoyed if someone refuses.

That’s what I disappointed myself with, not asking on her behalf.

The badges help, but even then there are incidents when they don’t look ‘pregnant enough’.

Thanks Chertsey…despite being fuckin’ condescending I appreciate point (b) :lou_wink:

However I don’t require the jesture and although I’ve given up running I do walk the dog 7 miles a day.

I was raised in a age of deference to women, the aged and infirm when travelling on public transport. I still do.

It’s a cultural thing - feels awkward to do. I think London Underground could do more about creating a culture where people do feel comfortable to ask. They managed to get us standing on the left on escalators after all.

But does need emotion taken out of it - I’ve seen people nearly having fisticuffs over perceived selfishness. Which is just daft.

It’s more a respect thing than a belief that they are indeed infirm.

If you’re standing on the left, you’re doing it wrong… :lou_wink:

What could they do though? In the morning everyone is in a sleep-induced comatose state, in the evening everyone is rushing to get home.

Maybe they could get people to post up pics of people on Twitter who don’t give up their seats?

Women don’t need you to give up your seat unless we’re in pain. I.e in high heels, when we have PMT or when pregnant.

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True, but it feels like the chivalrous thing to do. I offer. If they don’t want it I keep it.

I normally give up my seat on any form of public transport to someone that obviously needs one. The tube is a bit weird though, because even though the rule still applies, I’m as likely as anyone to be in the crush to beat a sliding door, so it’s not a transport system which naturally lends itself to civility.

Mind you, some people will just flat out ignore all sorts. I remember an occasion on a crowded rush hour bus on the way home when two louts were assaulting a fifteen year old girl. Nowt serious, but the occasional slap. No one did anything until hobbit me stood up to them. Not sure I’d do it now. I’d just become a father for the first time back then, but I’d like to think I still would.

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I agree with Lou on the point about many people being completely zoned out. Personally, as I spend enough of the day sitting already, and I am very happy standing on the tube, I rarely take a seat in the first place. I have asked other people to give up their seats for those in need and the reaction is usually immediate and happily compliant. Badges definitely help for pregnant ladies.

I sit down all day too, so I completely appreciate the sentiment. If, after the melee has ended, there happens to be a seat that people aren’t fighting over, I’ll plonk my arse down, but until that point, really can’t be arsed.

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It is difficult to know these days but I’m not sure about giving up my seat for a woman as I was always taught to do as a kid. It’s made easy for you if they are pregnant or struggling with a couple of young kids but the last time I did it in the '70 I think both I and the woman felt a little awkward about it.

As for myself Chertsey I don’t think I look like I need a seat…for whatever reason. :lou_wink:

Eurgh. This is something that does really get my back up.

Yeah, I’ll always give up my seat to a lady with a “Baby on Board” badge. The reason I don’t to other ladies that may look preggers is I made that mistake before. 9am, Central Line, between stations

“Would you like to sit down?”

“DO YOU THINK I AM PREGNANT!! YOU RUDE LITTLE…lots of expletives really”

That was a bad time. So yeah, happy to give my seat to pregnant women, and will tell people to stand up if they won’t.

But yeah, people in general are shits. When I went back to work after my operation earlier this year, people would look at me struggling onto the train with my 2 crutches and just do nothing. I know I’m a young guy, clearly not pregnant, but still. This is something you’d think people would usually offer their seat up for. I certainly always had before. It was about this point I started just asking people, and asking on behalf of others.

It is tricky with older people though. I’ve fallen foul both ways. I’ve offered my seat and offended someone that way, and then failed to offer my seat to someone and offended them that way too. Can’t win :lou_facepalm_2:

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Originally posted by @Chertsey-Saint

So this morning I was stood on the tube travelling to work, when a heavily pregnant lady got on. NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY, got up to let her sit down. I felt like saying something, but I didn’t which I regret.

Now in my opinion I think that’s horrific, and I tend to give up my seat to anyone that is either (a) a woman, or (b) looks over the age of 60. What are others thoughts on this? Have you ever witnessed this?

There is no thought: make eye contact, offer your seat, glare at the peons.

You are clearly not a man used to wearing high heels all day.

Don’t kink-shame, Lou.

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You know I dont commute on weekends, right?

Manners cost nothing.

Giving up a seat for others or general acts of kindness make you and those around you feel good.

More of it imho.

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