🎶 Eurovision 2019 Matchday & Pickling Thread

#1

No wait! Come back!
Look, for the 1st time in 25.5 years I have to watch the bloody thing.
On Terrestial Telly no less.
Mrs P_F has never heard the phrase Why Unami Nul Pwoint. I’ve opened a drinkable bottle of £2.50 Bordeaux and…
Yep, I’m gonna be reporting on Poland,'s answer to Sir Terry Norton or whatever.
Unlike Watford who stupidly took the FA Cup seriously & got but fvcked on live global TV, Poland decided to select some badly dressed losers who got knocked out by that bastion of EU loyalty, Australia.
So buckle up, let me know Norton’s best quips and let’s take the piss out of Nigel Farage’s favourite TV show

I mean, this was the absolute gem from Polski.

See what I have to put up with?
Maybe a poll @BTripz?

BLETCH EDIT:

Entries

Draw[59] Country[59] Artist[59] Song[59] Language(s) Place Points
01 Malta Michela Chameleon English
02 Albania Jonida Maliqi Ktheju tokës Albanian
03 Czech Republic Lake Malawi Friend of a Friend English
04 Germany S!sters Sister English
05 Russia Sergey Lazarev Scream English
06 Denmark Leonora Love Is Forever English, French[f]
07 San Marino Serhat Say Na Na Na English[e]
08 North Macedonia Tamara Todevska Proud English
09 Sweden John Lundvik Too Late for Love English
10 Slovenia Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl Sebi Slovene
11 Cyprus Tamta Replay English
12 Netherlands Duncan Laurence Arcade English
13 Greece Katerine Duska Better Love English
14 Israel Kobi Marimi Home English
15 Norway KEiiNO Spirit in the Sky English[g]
16 United Kingdom Michael Rice Bigger than Us English
17 Iceland Hatari Hatrið mun sigra Icelandic
18 Estonia Victor Crone Storm English
19 Belarus ZENA Like It English
20 Azerbaijan Chingiz Truth English
21 France Bilal Hassani Roi French, English
22 Italy Mahmood Soldi Italian[h]
23 Serbia Nevena Božović Kruna” (Круна) Serbian[c]
24 Switzerland Luca Hänni She Got Me English
25 Australia Kate Miller-Heidke Zero Gravity English
26 Spain Miki La Venda Spanish

Who is going to win?

You have 3 votes to predict the top 3…

  • Malta
  • Albania
  • Czech Republic
  • Germany
  • Russia
  • Denmark
  • San Marino
  • North Macedonia
  • Sweden
  • Slovenia
  • Cyprus
  • Netherlands
  • Greece
  • Israel
  • Norway
  • United Kingdom
  • Iceland
  • Estonia
  • Belarus
  • Azerbaijan
  • France
  • Italy
  • Serbia
  • Switzerland
  • Australia
  • Spain

0 voters

#2

Ummmm, maybe not, I don’t even know who’s singing.

#3

Iceland… WTF? It’s the gimp in the snow!

#4
  • Will unami will get more than 5 Nul Pwoints
  • Will BDSM Dudes from Iceland be boring or will they win
  • Will any E European Nations vote for UK
  • Will Graham Norton ever sound less bored?

0 voters

Something like that maybe

1 Like
#5

Beat you with the Icelandic dudes…

… although I suspect they beat themselves

1 Like
#6

I love the way Tripsy asks the guy who hasn’t seen it for 25 years for Poll categories :roll_eyes:

#7

I beat you by 5 years at least, the last time I watched it 2 girls were ripping their skirts off

2 Likes
#8

When the event used to be held in Europe I watched the voting half of the event simply in the hope that the UK entry would get fuck all. It was hilarious to see my wife’s dream of another Boom Banga Bang triumph dashed on the rocks of rigged voting. I love that bit…I 've never heard any of the singing since Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson won with “Sing Little Birdy” in 1959.

3 Likes
#9

Malta works for me

#10

Seems Russia have signed Lallana up as their entry.

Macedonia could work in an emergency, hang on, most the male singers look like Lala land

And is that Rick Astley representing us?

#11

1st TV coverage report.
It’s all in English. And damn the presenters are a good reason to watch Israeli TV.

The Polish 'tater isn’t. He is simply doing an instant translation sort of a monotonous drone speaking at a crazy speed to try and keep up

I’ve also just realised I can actually vote for the UK entry using my Polish mobile so we MAY get one vote after all

1 Like
#12

I like the irony… when this iconic gay festival is held in fucked up religious or bigoted countries… like Israel and Russia

1 Like
#13

I just found the odds.
UK is 251 ish.
Holland have already won it apparently 1.75

I have been away so long I have n idea what those numbers even mean.

1 Like
#14

3 songs in and something actually has a melody - Czech Timberlake or something.
won’t win, but a mellow summer tune/vibe

But why in English? Dudes

#15

now its based on which former eastern bloc countries hate each other less this year so the scoring even more politicised than 30 years ago… the Germans could resurrect the rotting corpse of John Lennon, and get him to pen a tune with Bob Dylan an Neil Young and would still never win…

1 Like
#16

I have no idea why, @Polski_Filip, but I’ve added a runners and riders list and a poll to the first post.

You can select the top 3, but not the order. If in doubt follow my lead:

  1. UK
  2. Azaerbaijan
  3. Albania
2 Likes
#17

Tell yoou what, I am now intrigued, especially with Glasto coming up soon.
No, not the music, I need to know what fvcking Meds they’ve fed the audience. Damn I need some of whatever it is.

Can’t wait to see another Hot 60 year old perform - WTF happened to Madonna’s career for her to take a gig like this?

1 Like
#18

Denmark… something strongly sort of likeable about it… but it may just be that she is quite cute, bits suspect I am not her type, and not because I am a fat old 49 year old ugly fucker…

1 Like
#19

a) Nobody else wanted to validate Israel by appearing
b) Madge needed the $1m (paid by a Canadian billionaire I believe - but I may have dreamt that).

2 Likes
#20

Is that the San Mariano Leonard Cohen?

2 Likes