I genuinely feel your pain brother.
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Time to ādevelopā a persistent cough
Otherwise you are going to get a persistent pain in the arse
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Needs some subtlety, though. Occasional dry hacking, only just within earshot of the target. When queried, immediately brush off the enquiry with a very curt āItās nothing, just a niggly cough. Itās absolutely nothing to worry about.ā
Repeat at 40 minute intervals, making a point of doing it when she thinks that you think she wonāt hear the coughing.
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Also hide bowls of thai fish sauce near radiators. When she asks āWhat is that stink?ā reply with āNope, canāt smell a thing.ā
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Is anyone on here in a tier 4 area? If you are would you be interested in swapping your large turkey for a smaller one? Just thought Iād ask.
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Weāve got a turkey crown for 14.
Persobally I think itās probably from an Ostrich.
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Some interesting reactions to the news from some of our septic isle friends
Several couldnāt be happier as they can break a cycle of family commitments they have been obliged to keep for years and just enjoy a Xmas with their family alone
Others have completely lost their minds
The Ayatollah has banned me from sending them the tier 4 wankers meme
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thread:
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Looks like itās panic stations in London tonight. Crowded stations and crammed trains as Londoners try to leave the capital ahead of tier4. Heading for all parts of the UK. Love the announcement on the tannoy, āSocial distancing will not be possible due to volume, and to get off if you are not comfortable with thatā.
What could possibly go wrong?
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Got to love the human race - selfish to the core
The Italians did just this in the first wave
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Folks wonāt be satisfied until they have infected a relativeā¦ who then develops serious symptoms. Sadly itās the only way some folks will give a fuck and I some cases not even thenā¦
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Tier 4 Vegan here. Sorry. Have an extra nut roast I can send if you are struggling. 
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Goose and partridge for four here it seems. Was enough for the planned 6 but deffo plenty for me and family on Cmas day now
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Tier 4 here but we were only cooking for two anyway.
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Not sure where to post this
Itās almost like leaving it until 6 days pre-Christmas to announce it wasnāt a great idea and prevented people making plans.
The fact that London has gone Tier 2 to Tier 4 in 3 days means that it shouldnāt have been Tier 2 in the first place (a lot of the South did it in under 24 hours as well).
Just so unrealistic to expect people to cancel everything last minute with no notice or possibility of making other arrangements.
Iād actually semi-expected this to happen and tried to book in a Sainsburyās or Waitrose delivery slot a week ago in case we had to stay in London for Christmas and there were none available from the 14th onwards.
Really limits options for the vulnerable (and people who took that useless cunt Johnson at his word) who donāt want to risk what will now be ludicrously busy supermarkets to get stuff in.
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My eldest was one of those that got out before Tier 4 came into London last night. Come now. Line up with your judgement.
I said to her this morning that the chief medical officer said that she should unpack her bag.
She said āI am unpacking it now, initā
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Thanksā¦Cunt!