Another negative swab test result for me now wait another 10 days for a blood test if that negative I can get out if a single room to go back offshore to a single cabin.
No I dont want joint cabin offshore.
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Scousers are going to offer other people 2nd hand tests, “only slightly used, honest mate”
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The version I saw was “Wash your hands like you’ve been chopping chillies and now wish to masturbate”
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This is how you do it.
No excuses. No Rose Garden interview
Just sacked
So, schools are safe?
Grand son’s best pal at school has Covid-19
They never were and the fact that higher education is now a market venture is down to much of the reason everyone is back, at least in the UK.
Local economies need stimulating! As long as those students are being fed by local suppliers, or even better, big corporates, government is happy.
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24k new cases yesterday over here. 1/2 your population, 1/4 the testing.
The reason is now being questioned.
In Lockdown 1 the Deputy Health Minister was actually a highly respected Consultant Surgeon.
In the run up to the election the morons didnt like his PR ratings so found a way to get him to quit, patted themselves on the back.
And now Poland is trying to steal medical staff from other countries. 
Full lockdown inbound here
Another 350 mil of public money bunged to this lot, even though they fucked up the first contract. That 170 grand in donations by Randox to Conservative Party coffers looks a shrewd investment.
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Unbelievable, but Asda can’t deliver loo rolls with our order tomorrow; a visit to Tesco last night (not for loo rolls) showed virtually empty shelves on the tissue aisle.
Who are these bar stewards who buy up all the loo rolls, and why ffs do the supermarkets let them?
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Time to invest in a bidet.
Never really understood (or indulged in) water free wiping.
Mrs BTripz was at ASDA this morning, apparently the till worker said a lady came through with 8 packs of 24 toilet rolls earlier.
They don’t have any limits on loo rolls at the moment but he asked her why she needed so many, her reply was
“None of your business, just shut up and serve me”
They either have a big household or a case of dysentry…
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Apparently the bog roll bandits were back on e Bay a couple of days ago. Apparently some of them made a fair few quid during the last lock down, amazing what people are prepared to pay for toilet rolls, pasta, and especially hand sanitiser when they are panicked by the media with stories about panic buying which then creates a self fulfilling prophecy. Some of the mark ups were astonishing, 35 quid for a bottle of sanitiser which was 8-99 in Tesco was the best I saw. And people were falling over each other bidding for them. Its like a collective madness comes over part of the population.
Or…
I did try those antiseptic bum-wipes for a bit, but they left me feeling a bit weird, so I reverted to paper.
Also - worked in civil engineering in sewage pipes and treatment works for years, and you would not want to see what all the stuff other than wee, poo and paper does in treatment works does - it was referred to a “ragging up”.
The good news here is that we immediately ordered a large pack from Amazon - reasonable price, and should arrive today, which means I can have my constitutional tomorrow morning.
When I was a kid, we always had one of them bum washer jugs. They’re pretty commonplace in Pakistan and India.
I don’t have one now, but I am considering getting a bidet. I typically use wet tissue, then dry tissue. Call it a quirk, but I don’t like the idea of going around with shit on my arse when enough comes out of the cakehole!
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Sounds like a case of Shit Housery
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