:gov: Britain's Next Prime Minister

It’s the “talent” show nobody wanted. I know we’ve got a Tories in Trouble thread, but this is probably important enough to warrant something in its own right.

For anyone that’s not a Tory, it really is the agony of choice. Scratch that, it’s probably the same for Tories too.

I’ll ask three questions.

  1. Who could you live with?
  2. Who’d cause you to emigrate, funds permitting?
  3. Who’s actually going to get it?

I’ve emigrated.
You’ll get Boris.
I could set up a Sotonians Letting Agency to get you all set up here


Rory Stewart
None - if I could live through May the emigration bar is pretty high - but please not Boris
Javid or Hunt

I am just glad that cock Womble Mogg hasn’t got involved


None of the fuckers and I’m not advocating what Jo Brand is currently being pilloried for either.

  1. None obviously. What a shower of self entitled inbred idiocy. Such a low bar to beat, but not a single glimmer of improvement in any of them.
  2. All(obviously, given my reply to 1).
  3. It won’t be Al de Coke, or the living dead(SS man through and through, so the MSM are overly kind), but he’ll always look dead to anyone with a heartbeat and his ideas are worse than Mrs strong and stable.
    Hate to be the one to say it, but we’re probably looking at Cunt getting it. The positive there is, there are no better candidates when you read the list(bar just got lower, which should be scientifically impossible) and that’s the really embarrassing part.

I’m approaching this from the perspective of someone that would like to see a Labour government and the complete destruction of the Tory party as a credible, electable force, so please bear that in mind.

  1. I could actually live with most of them. Some might end up being more competent than others. I find it strange that everyone considers Boris Johnson such a big problem. He’s a gaffe machine, and will have to put up with more scrutiny than he’s ever dealt with. In the old days, you could keep this sort of thing quiet. In the social media and smartphone era? Ain’t happening. The only reason he’s not fucked up in the time between May announcing her departure and today is because his minders have kept him out of the press. Roty Stewart seems the least cuntish.

  2. I could not live with Esther McVey. Not only do I think she’s a nasty piece of work, I do think she could actually win a GE for the Tories. She’s a stunner compared to Theresa, will seem down to Earth because of her scouse accent and has a rhetorical style which is light on facts and high on dog whistle bollocks. They need a populist; she might be it.

  3. Extremely difficult to say. These are people that have known each other for decades, know many of each others’ secrets. I think the last two may well be Savid Javid and Boris Johnson. Savid Javid is the current Home Secretary, and probably has compromising material on all of them. Gavin Williamson is on Boris’ team, acting as unofficial chief whip. He’ll have a relatively recent copy of the infamous Tory dirt book that Ted Heath loved using so much. From there, Boris to win with the Conservative membership.

:exclamation: All predictions made in this post should be seen in the proper context. Any candidate, at any time, can probably be taken down at any point due to previously undisclosed sexual and/or criminal acts.

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They’re all cunts.


Concerning 2.
You should never have mentioned ******. You’ve just invited the devil into all our lives :lou_facepalm_2:

  1. If push came to.shove the least appalling one does appear to be Rory.
  2. Boris, Gove, Hunt. Frankly most of them. I’ve got some savings and 2 other languages and work in a sought after profession in Canada, Aus and NZ. So I’m up for a change.
  3. Hunt?

Still no dirt on the the living dead(SS man) or the devil incarnate (*****). There’s a reason for that, as i’m sure there’s some on both.
Be more scared of these two.


  1. Rory Stewart does have a face like a smacked arse though. He might get away with it in an era where Tyrion Lannister is a cultural icon. Could his weathered appearance be an indicator of previously undisclosed deviant activities, such as being sand-papered by an older boy for not fagging quickly enough?

  2. I don’t think you need to worry about either of them. I’m betting on pictures of a ball-gagged Boris with a live swordfish up his arse any time soon. I am also betting that compelling new evidence will emerge demonstrating that Gove spends his weekends dressed as a baby, asking Sarah for both. Seriously though, Boris is weak in phase one, Gove in phase two. Both are recognised bullshitters and/or backstabbers. Hpnest bro Jez will eat them.

  3. Ah, the only cunt boring enough to not have undisclosed sexual activities on the books? Fucking good shout, dear.

So what you are saying is this is the Munted version of Britian’s Got (No) Talent?

Can’t remember who coined the term, but I’ve heard it said that politics is showbiz for ugly people.

On that basis alone, yes.

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I can’t help but feel that Boris allowed himself to get kicked out the last Leadership Election as it was obvious to anyone with a brain that the winner was going to be in an impossible situation.
As such he and others have fucked the country over simply building their positions for this moment.
Unless someone comes up with a smoking gun, the facebook snipes will simply slide off his back.
Oh for a Statesperson.

  • Who could you live with?
    For me, and I know the first is bizarre, I could live with Gove and Leadsom
  • Who’d cause you to emigrate, funds permitting?
    Johnson and Hunt
  • Who’s actually going to get it?
    Johnson :lou_facepalm_2:

Not so much like a smacked arse, Rory is a dead ringer for Plug from The Beano.

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Plug is a stunner next to Stewart.


Judging by the expressions on their faces here Esther has her finger up Rory’s bottom. He seems to be quite enjoying it.
aleadsom 2h2 hours ago

Outside Committee Room 14 with my good friends @ esthermcvey1 and @ RoryStewartUK 🗳