If it floats, flies or fornicates, hire it.
These poor wanting a fucking big yacht have a lot to learn.
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Fair enough.
Two pieces of advice.
- Donāt give up the day job.
- Donāt try satire at work, or you might unwittingly give up the day job.
One bit of advice.
Stop being a patronizing dickā¦
You are obviously not quite as clever as you think you areā¦ 
I try, @Map-Of-Tasmania, I really do.
But in some cases, such as small children, or āsatireā on the Brexit thread, a degree of patronising is inevitable.
/pats AG on head.
Donāt worry, AG. Youāre against a master here. Iām given to understand heās about to oust Stewart Lee as the 41st best stand up ever.
ā¦ Fine but then again donāt expect to retain any respect. You seen to suffer from the rather naive POV that you are smarter than many, yet you seem to read a lot, remember a lot, quote a lot yet seem unable to gain any insight from any of it. This is the problem with 'Factās you see, without insight, analysis they are meaningless, and you forget that the conclusions you often draw are merely opinion and not fact - and usually the opinion formed by some now long departed socialist freedom fighter in 1971 - when the world was quite differentā¦ You should go back to playing computer games.
He shouldnāt be worried. Iām not claiming to be a comedian.
I donāt know why either of you are crying anyway. I think I let him off very gently for another of his āraaaargh! Iām off the reservation again!ā rants, this time about my comments on the merits of military domestic production, as opposed to getting rivals to make it.
Seeing as weāre all in a jocular mood, could you do the one about how Farage, Rees-Mogg and I are pals again. Iāve got an excellent Blair/Mandelson/Owen Smith follow up. It just needs teeing up.
On you go.
Lols. ā rants and off reservationā ā¦ nah not a comedian but you might do well as a magician with your little distraction techniques to take the focus away from your embarrassing posts that sound like Daily Mail rantsā¦
Thing is, I am often too quick to get drawn in (bit all raging still about the idiocy of Brexit), yet the fact that I am often alone in even bothering to reply or respond suggests most have lost interestā¦
Farage may not be Papās pal, but they seem much closer these days in their thinkingā¦?
(See I can do isolated quotes to twist as I see fit as well - but then I am in a good mood so will ālet you off lightlyā and only post the one)
Iāve got an alternate explanation which fits the facts just as well.
You just donāt know when to shut up, and honestly, youāve been this way for as long as Iāve known you in poster form, here or elsewhere. Combined with that, I think youāre even worse than me at conceding a lost argument, which is truly saying something.
Now Iām not telling you to shut up, and I donāt mind the ādebateā, in whatever form it takes. However, I know that by the end of debate with you, you will have posted reams, immediately, without much in the way of editing, and more importantly, without much thinking attached to it.
This is why you had your years-long feuds over at TSW. This is why youāre having them here.
I know that I can be an arsehole, but perhaps the biggest comfort I take from that is that I know that. Stops me from being one quite as much as I would.
I get the genuine sense that you donāt know you are capable of being one yourself. Thatās something you want to look at.
Well you seem to have mixed up a few facts here Papā¦ feuds, I believe I have 2 one with Turkish, who was a troll, and one with you on anything that seems to suggest your ideology is flawedā¦ I have plenty of self awareness and know exactly what I can be and its not always great, but its your ridiculous sense of superiority that is your undoingā¦ even in your last post instead of saying āāeven worse than me at conceding an argumentāā you have to make sure your drop in ālostā - suggesting naturally that this debate/argument has been wonā¦ it has not even started as we have no facts and no real world post Brexit experience - we are ALL commentating on speculative and hypothetical situations.
Yet you seem convinced by what exactly? For someone so happy to share opinion as facts, you have presented NONE about the implications of Brexit as there are as yet noneā¦ yet you have tried to claim your POV is based on themā¦ you need to remember what opinion is.
By the end of the debate with you Pap, most will have given up as its like banging your head against a brick wall - as with most that seem unable to move on from 1970s political rhetoric
Perhaps you might want to ask yourself whether you are so good recognising when you are being an arsehole because its a more common event?
Turkish went after targets of opportunity. He did try going after me once, but that didnāt really end well for him or anyone else on the UI. Since then, he and I have had a decent relationship based on a bit of mutual respect, largely out of that cauldron of conflict.
We continued to take the piss out of each other publicly, but always with a knowing respect, much in the same way Iāve built up @saintbletch-lore or @Fowllyd-wallet-lore.
He found your button, hammered it like he was playing Hyper Sports, and up youād pop, each and every time, giving him more ammunition for the next attack.
You could have had the besting of him if youād held your breath, thought about your response, and organised your educated mind a bit more, but you never did that. You shot from the hip, mostly missed and mostly exposed yourself to worse abuse on his next post.
Youāre a smart man, @Map-Of-Tasmania. The only stupid things you do are judge and react so quickly.
You may find it surprising, but ābesting folksā on a web forum, is not my bagā¦ is of no interest to me, better things to do with my time. My mistake was an element of naivety in thinking others would have better things to do as wellā¦ For those who get satisfaction from it/perverse pleasure, fair enough, each to their own, but I cant pretend I respect itā¦
Has anyone seen Stewart Leeās Content Provider? āRemain cities loom out of the landscape, like Tolkienesque citadels, full of wizards and poetsā¦ and people who can understand data!ā
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Yeah, watched it today. Itās on iPlayer and I linked to it in the gigs thread.
That whole Brexit skit was hilarious.
Mild spoiler
I loved the moan about how the lack of clarity around Britainās stance on various policies was making it difficult for him to write effective jokes. And then he mused that if it was tough for comedians it must have an impact on other industries. Genius
.
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Lol, it wasnāt just racists who voted to leave. It was also cunts!
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āOh no, all I wanted was bendy bananas and now thereās this chaotic inferno of hate. Ah well, at least weāll have bendy bananasā 
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https://twitter.com/PeterKGeoghegan/status/1023524444038459392
There is a very real possibility that an Ā£8.4m donation to a UK political movement came from a foreign power in order to influence the result of a referendum.
Leaving aside the emotive questions of āDid it alter the result?ā and āShould the referendum result stand?ā, why are we not up in arms about this?
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Shut up, it was the will of the people.
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