The Aftermath Diary by Paul plasticine penguin, height 4’6’’
Day 2
I am even more miffed today as we are now two days in an not £1 of the promised extra 335m per week has been given to the NHS. Also not one new manufacturing plant has opened. Perhaps more importantly, not even one food bank has closed, nor has there been any reduction in Child poverty levels.
Have not seen any price reductions on food either. I am expecting these to be significant to help out the poor people, but I am struggling with the maths when we already produce 55% which won’t get any cheaper, and imports from EU will get more expensive what with extra transport time and admin costs… I hope we can bring in more from further afield, fuck the carbon footprint. Maybe we produce more ourselves, but might mean we have less choice given our climate. But who wants citrus fruit anyway and only middle class knobs eat fruit and veg
Worse still, they promised the streets would be paved with Iron pyrite and yet they still seem paved in shit
At least we have been able to give those nasty middle classes a kicking, what with making it more complicated to travel, live and work abroad- after all we don’t want to encourage our poor kids to aspire to leave their shit estates and discover new opportunities Wherever their talents are wanted…
I did manage to wipe my arse today without smearing shit on my bollocks though, so that cheered me up
Best continue practicing the comedy gold if I want to be the new Bill Hicks when I grow up