Watch your step lads, apparently it’s possible to wank your way into hospital…
Interesting story, ‘rips his lungs out’ a tad misleading though.
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It took me several minutes to plough through all the reports in various media before discovering one that I felt sufficiently hyperbolic. 
An old GF of mine was a nurse and had a few stories, as did some of her colleagues, that would fit into a bizarre injuries claim. One mush rocked up in A&E with a stinging nettle shoved down his japs eye as he thought the pain from the stings would give some kind of sensation, but the daft cunt had pushed it into his bladder. A kind of reverse Morrissey, i guess. A few tales of lids from deodorant cans becoming lodged in back passages after accidentally “falling” on them. And one mush went to A&E with a painful nut. Was shown behind a curtain and told to take off his trousers. When asked where the pain was, he pointed to the side of his head 
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Anyone else seen the WhatsApp doing the rounds about the dippers allegedly having a squad percentage of 63% with diagnosed asthma? I wondered if there was anything to it, and happened upon this piece.
Quite interesting read.
Probably means they can get a therapeutic exemption to take that stuff Chris froome did
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That’s the strong implication. Can’t find much about it though, either denying or confirming it.
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I’d question their scouts and medical experts if they signed players with medical conditions tbh. Sounds like the typical excuses / sour grapes if things don’t go their way- maybe 🤷
The suggestion is that the asthma is fictional, but gives them an excuse to use the substances involved in treating the condition. Bradley Wiggins used the same drugs. I’ll send you the clip, it’s too big to upload here.
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Do I need to turn the sound down as usual?
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Such cynicism ill becomes you. 
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I’ll open it tomorrow when the missus is out then 
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I understand that there is exercised induced asthma- I am a bit wheezey after a long ride particularly in the cold
I would also expect the cyclist to be more affected due to the duration they ride and to the altitude they ride at (often in freezing temperatures)
But for football? That many?
I suppose it must be like those Russian athletes who all had hereditary heart conditions
Who knew that the key to success in pro sport wasn’t skill or hard work, but a underlying medical condition that needed drugs
Nobody’s saying that. Our “65th minute injury” wheeze to take on energy drinks wasn’t a replacement for training or ability, it was a tiny enhancement that might be enough to tip a very finely balanced set of scales slightly in our favour. If injections of salbutamol gave players a few extra minutes of sprint time on the pitch near the end of the game, that could account for quite a few extra points over the season.
Allegedly.
Interesting clip - very funny too.
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I know you….
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Actually let the dippers win the quad only for them to be stripped of the lot for doping - that would be magic
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