Just because I posted a picture of the grandkids in the pool ?
Actually, itās because Iām surprised you havenāt heard of Nectre, the new loyalty card for ghosts.
Not the way I smell it. 
I am joining the ranks of the aged
The Ayatollah has booked us on a cruise - 7 nights in Norway on Queen Anne. We were going to do this pre Covid when she worked at Carnival but it got cancelled. Unfortunately she no longer works at carnival and as a result this is costing twice as much for a cabin two level below what we were going on
Two weeks ago this wasnāt even on the agenda
Day 1: we should go away for a week in August
Day 2: Maybe we should look at that cruise again
Day 3: I have been looking at cruises - queen Anne is available
Day 4: You know, I really would quite like to do it
Day5: i might just book it
Day 6: Sister in law say to me - I hear you are going on a cruise
Day 7: Cruise not on website, Ayatollah has tantrum, I chuckle
Day 8: Strings pulled and we are committed
Not once had I given any indication that I wanted to go (or as she said not once did I indicate that I didnāt)
My first input was to buy the drink package
Tune in next week for āCoach trips to Highcliffeā
Because I work on the high seas I have always refused to girlfriends and wives that cruises were off the holiday list. I will do the occaisional ferry ride but that is it.
I was continually badgered to go on a cruise. All of Lady Slowlaneās family cruised but my argument was that Iād never be old enough to go on one.
In the end I had to give in as my good lady wanted to go on one for her 60th.
Being a man of the people, I ruled out Cunard as a school friend bleated on endlessly how wonderful Cunardās world cruise was. Heād spent over Ā£30k on one back in 2008. Cunt!
Friend of ours from Bompey dragged her sister screaming onto a cruise to Norway 3 weeks ago.
Like you a bunch of over my dead body threats were to no avail.
24 hours after getting home after the āhorrorsā they booked another longer cruise for next year.
You are old, get used to itā¦
Never ever again will I travel on May half term
Things I have learnt about the Italian lakes
They are beautiful
The food is great
The weather is properly changeable
They are full of krauts
Our balcony is just above an insta location. Just enjoyed watching some pussy whipped bloke trailing behind his glammed up girlfriend, she poses he takes pictures, she grabs the phone, flick through, remonstrates and thrust the phone back at him
This happened 3 times
Not sure the round of applause from the Ayatollah and I was appreciated when he finally got a shot she approved of
Very amusing
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Thailand was the same. Full of cunts creating ācontentā. Why do you have to pose like a prick in front of the setting sun? Sit and watch it with a cocktail like normal people. Cunts.
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I love Italy anyway, but the Lakes are magnificent. Weāve been half a dozen times and all holidays have been ace. Will be there in a couple of weeks and canāt wait.
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Just had a short 3 day break in the Cotswolds and rather naively thought we pop into Diddly Squat Farm Shop on the way home this morning, just out of curiosity.
Fuckinā hell, chaos. 
Didnāt bother stopping, even if weād been able to. It was like turning up at St Maryās 15 minutes before kick off.
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Whereabouts?
I went to his Brewery, Hawkstone nr Cheltenham, last month as I know the head brewer.
He said he hadnāt seen him since xmas, but apparently he turned up later that week. I asked if he was a cunt in real life, but apparently heās ok.
Banbury.
Thatās the thing - he will have an on screen persona and then his normal one
I suspect we have seen more of the real Clarkson in the farming program
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Cool that you bumped into James May.
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