This may not work on this forum. But it would be nice to pay some respect to the nice animals that we share this planet with. I will kick things off with the RHINOCEROS.
Couple of facts: These creatures are huge. Slightly bigger than a Nissan Juke. Easily 15 foot long and 6 foot high. They are fat, very fat. They weigh 300 – 400 stone. They have horns which are spiked with poison and kill for fun.
Habitat: Africa and Asia. These magnificent creatures can be found wandering anywhere from the wild Savannah of Tanzania to downtown Delhi. It is not unusual to see them herding in the Himalayas.
Food: Mostly Vegetarian. They prefer to eat small trees and shrubs but on occasion will hunt for meat. On occasion small children have been taken.
Defence: The Rhinoceros is a naturally curious and very sexual creature. They mean no harm and will sleep with you if allowed.
Attack: Will rip your fucking arm off if annoyed. Same as a Badger would.
Life span: Roughly 120 years.
Rating: 9/10. Ugly but hard.