Despite the early hour, there is already quite some activity in House. The shocking news is that Barry has left the Diary room and is now standing in the lounge. His trousers are around his ankles as he has just received a not so proverbial fisting from Pap, who took a surprising break from his morning scrotal hygiene routine to administer his promised discipline.
Fatso, is laying in the couch where he has been masturbating furiously at the observed punishment.
Slowly and Soggy the Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau, of the house have not witnessed the scene as they were up early to get the best sunliungers by the pool. Soggy is wearing the same speedo s he purchased in 1971 when his moustache hung as low as his bollocks do now. Slowly is covered in fake tan and resembles the now crinkly Ron Jeremy.
Saint CD, the young new entrant has been assigned to serve Bletch, and is currently dressed only in small apron as he prepares Bletches eggs benedict . Bletch himself is nowhere to be seen, having retired early to select a silk dressing gown for his new friend
Back in the lounge, Pap is removing the rubber glove and is keen to return to his morning testicular cleansing , but Barry is still shouting albeit with less intensity - as if he has lost some of his spunk
There is small cry as Fatso concludes his furious self pleasuring with extra enphusiasm. Pap, who was previously standing perilously close to the āfiring lineā had just returned to the bathroom - Barry has not been so lucky - as if he has suddenly replaced what he had previously lost
Bearsy is watching.
Tune in later folks for this weeks eviction nominationsā¦ (subject to demand)
Before bazza says it: too little too late. If he was any good he wouldnāt be signing for shit like saints. Meanwhile Kat has spent 65 million on cream puffs and fat les is still diddling his wanger over Nathan Redmond.
I know right! I like to lurk on there a fair bit in times of high drama and transfer windows, but I think Iām gonna have to take a break. We used to at least judge these random foreigners on Youtube videos and newspaper articles, but theyāve got one guy on there who without any sense of irony or doubt has decided Carrillo is definitely āshitā on the sole basis of his fkn wikipedia page.
Its a huge gamble but fuck it, we need to stay in the league, he eeds game time and if he does well weāll make a profit I suppose, I canāt judge the player as I now nothing about him, this puts me in the same bracket as Les and Big Kat.
I am sure itās a euphemism as well.