Yay! It's Day 24 in the Sotonians Transfer Saga House

Yay! It's Day 24 in the Sotonians Transfer Saga House
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#1

05:15 am

Despite the early hour, there is already quite some activity in House. The shocking news is that Barry has left the Diary room and is now standing in the lounge. His trousers are around his ankles as he has just received a not so proverbial fisting from Pap, who took a surprising break from his morning scrotal hygiene routine to administer his promised discipline.

Fatso, is laying in the couch where he has been masturbating furiously at the observed punishment.

Slowly and Soggy the Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau, of the house have not witnessed the scene as they were up early to get the best sunliungers by the pool. Soggy is wearing the same speedo s he purchased in 1971 when his moustache hung as low as his bollocks do now. Slowly is covered in fake tan and resembles the now crinkly Ron Jeremy.

Saint CD, the young new entrant has been assigned to serve Bletch, and is currently dressed only in small apron as he prepares Bletches eggs benedict . Bletch himself is nowhere to be seen, having retired early to select a silk dressing gown for his new friend

Back in the lounge, Pap is removing the rubber glove and is keen to return to his morning testicular cleansing , but Barry is still shouting albeit with less intensity - as if he has lost some of his spunk

There is small cry as Fatso concludes his furious self pleasuring with extra enphusiasm. Pap, who was previously standing perilously close to the ‘firing line’ had just returned to the bathroom - Barry has not been so lucky - as if he has suddenly replaced what he had previously lost

Bearsy is watching.

Tune in later folks for this weeks eviction nominations… (subject to demand)


#2

It’s been a long while since I’ve been called a young entrant … :lou_is_a_flirt:


#3

:lou_lol: I am sure it’s a euphemism as well.


#5

Only a week left Lesley!

A good striker for deffo pls

A better CB partner for Hodor would be v.welcome too.

If you’ve got time, another option for AM or Wing pls. Someone who can shoot tho!

If you get bored, sign a goalkeeper

I’ve got a good list of bros you can cut loose too if you like, but we may as well save that till the summer Just In Case We Need Them.


#6

#7

Grow up


#8

Before bazza says it: too little too late. If he was any good he wouldn’t be signing for shit like saints. Meanwhile Kat has spent 65 million on cream puffs and fat les is still diddling his wanger over Nathan Redmond.


#9

Weird. It would appear the club had a plan. Promes next would make it hard to deny for most.


#10

On bright side could be the end of Les Reed if it goes through. The chinese will be fucking FURIOUS when they find out! Worst asset strip ever.


#11

The twats on Fiverweb have already started slagging off Carrillo without seeing him kick a ball. That’s the spirit!


#12

I know right! I like to lurk on there a fair bit in times of high drama and transfer windows, but I think I’m gonna have to take a break. We used to at least judge these random foreigners on Youtube videos and newspaper articles, but they’ve got one guy on there who without any sense of irony or doubt has decided Carrillo is definitely “shit” on the sole basis of his fkn wikipedia page.


#13

House - This is Big Bad Bob Brother - will all house guests please convene in the lounge… Fatso, preferably with your trousers on


#14

I have it on good authority that Fatso switched trousers for flowery mumus some years ago.


#15

Its a huge gamble but fuck it, we need to stay in the league, he eeds game time and if he does well we’ll make a profit I suppose, I can’t judge the player as I now nothing about him, this puts me in the same bracket as Les and Big Kat.


#16

This is an automated message, your answer on this upstart thread is being ignored, please reply on the proper thread. thanks.


#17

No dramas allegro whooper bell.


#18

What, you’ve sold 80% of your wife to a Chinese takeaway and you’re standing by just watching them strip her assets?


#19

Trying to think of song lyrics for our potential new signing but nothing much ryhmes with Guido, except speedo and paedo :lou_sad:


#20

Just one Carrillo… that’s as far as I got, I really want a cornetto now.


#21

Just one Carrillo

Six two in height

He’s Argentinian

Expect he’s shite

He’s slow with no control

But he’s our Guido

In red and white