Are you a science man, KoalaKid? I have a science question, right, that I was thinking bout today. My car engine right, says it can do 10,000 RPM or something like that. If I put my car into space, and attached i.e. a long stick to the tyre, or i.e. the other thing in the engine that goes round, how long would the stick need to be so that i.e. at 10,000 RPM if I was sitting on the end of the stick, I would be going faster than the speed of light and i.e. Backwards In Time so I can see Dinosaurs?
Edit: Asking for friend.
Edit2: And also, do I need to go to space to do this or could i do it in some other place that is sparsely populated, i.e. Blockbuster Video?
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Thanks Lou, I like to think of you as the sister I never wanted, bringing sickening niceness to a place of evil.
Notice I stopped myself there? I was 6 inches away from making a penis joke!
Youād need two dicks (at least) to get 6 inches from anything, Toke.
I should know, your Mum and I nearly put girl on your birth certificate.
I pretend Iām a science man bearsey and sometimes they believe me. I would like to answer your question but weād probably end up in some piss poor Flaming Lips type concept album (post Soft Bulletin) scenario, If you want to use some of your pleasure(ing) time then I can suggest some of the Sixty Symbols videos from the University of Nottingham. They even respond if you ask them stuff (if not too dumb)
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Iām getting the feeling this is TMS on steroids. (or do i get infracted for mentioning TMS) 
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Flipping 'eck it sure is, Twiggy. But why the sad face?
Iām not going to attempt a funny story, because every time I do that, everyone takes it for real and then lays into me.
So this is my real storyā¦sorry if itās boringā¦
Parents moved to Southampton when I was about 2. Moved to Coxford about a couple of years later. Not happy times for them. There was always a buzz around school about football as my friend was Chris Nicholsā daughter, and a couple of the boys were doing well in junior teams. We always played mixed footie at lunch time. But I didnāt really focus on footie until the 1990 World Cup when I was IN AWE. Recorded England v Cameroon on the VHS, and watched it back about 50 times. Was in floods of tears at Gazza crying, and England going out.
Persuaded my mum to take me to the Dell for a couple of games that season after (my Dad loathed everything about football culture and team sports, though Iāve persuaded him round and now heās first to phone when Saints get a result). But mostly followed them on Radio 5 and reading Shoot and Match. My Dad banned me from following football for a while as he said I was obsessed, it was moronic, and I needed to practice my painting more!
Hated the Lowe era, only watched from a far during that time. The seedy business side of football really repulses me. Was massively excited when Marcus took over. Found Saintsweb when I was struggling to find much info about Saints. Lurked for a couple of years. Got involved in more conversations, so then registered. Was intending to stay low key and let people assume I was bloke, until Plastic said something earlier this year about the fact he thinks women that go to football games or like sport are unattractive. Which annoyed me! So I called him on it, and outed myself in the process 
I think he then trolled me with a similar topic on TMS, and regrettably I got draw in
Iāve really enjoyed meeting lots of Southampton supporters. Bucks, Goatboy and Pap, Iāve met the most, and I think theyāre all really smart, straight up guys, with dry sense of humour, really down to earth, and nicely welcoming. And I think thatās also what I like most about football and Southampton. A nice antidote to the bullshit and vanity of London.
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So basically youāre saying weāre simple folk of the Shire?
Like hobbits?
(I jest, I jest!)
Yeah, but I include me in that
You had an interesting journey to Sainthood, Lou - thanks for sharing.
Regarding your opening remarks about being taken too seriously at times: I chuckled the other day when people thought you were being serious about encouraging Steve Grant to restrict the number of new male registrations and introducing a quota system!
Never mind, Iāve seen this sort of thing happen a lot, and not just to you, Lou. I guess some people just arenāt very good at spotting irony, sarcasm, parody or whatever. Thatās one of the areas where Papās tag system comes in useful (at least for opening new posts): people could tag #tongueincheek etc, I suppose.
By the way, you werenāt being serious about those quotas, were you?
No!
What I should have done (if I were an effective troll) was carried on the charade, until everyone was annoyed and piling in (Turkish style).
But instead I was a wimp, got upset at the first āsee I knew all along Lou is arrogantā responseā¦and blew the opportunity. Iāll never make a decent troll.
PS. Thanks for always being nice to me, Halo
Originally posted by @Coxford_lou
PS. Thanks for always being nice to me, Halo
No probs, Lou. 
ā¦ unless you were being sarcastic; in which case, piss off!
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Have to say Lou, I was a tad disappointed how quickly you let that drop. You certainly could have had some fun with that. Thereās definitely a lot of fragile white male pride over āthereā that reacts violently (/hilariously) to a bit of poking or provoking (Iāve had my share of fun with it).
As for me and Saints, itās pretty convoluted. Fell in love with football around Euro '96. By that point my folks were separated, so was kind of left to follow a path of my own, as it were. Besides my dad, whilst a fan of footy, never had a strong allegiance to any team.
My dear old Grandad took me to my first match, QPR vs Swindon at Loftus Road. Being a West London lad, I probably should have stuck with them.
However, I was pretty star struck by a certain Mr Beckham, so pretty much just supported him, and in turn United.
About that time my dad got together with his now wife, who was from southampton. Luckily, United were about to play Saints, at the dell. The result that day was a certain 6-3 (at least I got to see my hero score). The seed was pretty firmly planted at that point.
However, it wasnāt until the move to SMS and my dad getting a season ticket that I became a full on Saint.
We werenāt ever that close, but stealing my brothers ticket everytime I was down was a rare bit of quality time, and common ground. I also began to think that supporting the team I saw most made sense, especially as I was growing rather fond of those red and white stripey bastards. From there on the affection just grew stronger.
Even as the trips became much less frequent, I was done being a fickle youth. Saints were my team.
So, not the most natural of stories and Iāll never win any uber fan arguments, my personal attendance is shocking, I wish I got to more games. But nevertheless saints are now my team, and will be from here on out.
Hence here I am alone Sydney, on my holiday, 1am trying to keep up with the game on crappy wifi on the last day of the season. Getting my final fix before the long withdrawal of preseason.
Edit: Soz for lack of humour.
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Very moving story, KRG. Iām very glad you found The Saints while being left to your own devices, and not drug baronsā¦ Donāt let whatever this result ends up as, put a dampner on your hols!
Yup, Iām very annoyed with myself now about that situation - wasted opportunity. To be fair, in my normal world, Iām maybe not quite so familiar with blokey arsehole behaviour, so it caught me unexpectedly. But Iād like to think Iāve learnt from the experience, and grown up as a person.
I still won though 
CāMON SAINTS!!
Greetings everyone from the Land Down Under!,
Before I completely open myself up for the first time ever on Paps Web, I need to preface this with - be kind, first time posting on ANY internet forum
I thought this was the best place to start my journey and you might all be asking; if this is your first time posting on the internet, why here? Well, as a Saints fan (more of that shortly), I, like Coxford Lou, have been stalkingā¦err readingā¦other Saints forums (mainly Saints Web) without commenting due to fear of ridicule. But lo and behold, all the funny geezers and females I found on that site, I found in one placeā¦Paps Web 
So, how did I get to become a Saints fan? Well, it all kind of started with me being a supporter of the underdog from way back, also with being an Italian child born in the 70ās and going to school being known as the āwog boyā. On top of that, I had the misfortune of supporting Aussie Rules as a youngster (all that time wasted!) but i first came across the Saints via the ABC and later SBS (Soccer Bloody Soccers migrant tv telecast as its known here) well before Rupert āSkynetā Murdoch got hold of our beautiful game.
Earliest memory was the Le God great escape years and the year we escaped relegation against Everton and as the story goes, the rest was history!
So, thatās my journey getting here and with enough TLC (or mudslinging ) I may open up like a beautiful orchidā¦or like a growing penis (sorry Lou)
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As a first post on any Saints Internet forum ever, that is not a bad start. I particularly liked the part where you bigged all of the people on Papsweb (as it has come to be known) as the funny geezers and gals. From the content weāve had so far, I donāt think youāve much to worry about. The closest thing weāve had to a beef is between Lou and Tokyo, and I would categorise that particular ding-dong as āQuornā
Ha! Yes, that has been giving me a chuckleā¦it sure beats MLG and his anal stats (see what I did there Bearsy!)ā¦although they do have there placeā¦or Batmanā¦or Dalekā¦or Hypoā¦geez, that list can go on!!
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Welcome OzSD! I think youāre going to fit in just fine here!
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Welcome Oz Dave!
Where abouts are you based? Iām currently hopping around your massive country, itās a great place!