A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her “private area” and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her. They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, “Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.” The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they’ll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it’s worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife’s room. After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat-lines… no pulse… no heart rate. The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, “I think she choked.”
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Cigarettes have warning labels on them because they are addictive and destroy lives.
Yet vaginas are fucking allowed to roam free!
It is possible to find free vaginas on this planet?
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Well if they havn’t got a cock up them then technically they are free to be used
This is just bizarre. I had to look up Fergus Beeley - apparantly, he is a BBC producer who worked on the Planet Earth series with David Attenborough. Anyway, he seems to have gone totally nuts here - couldn’t help thinking of Basil Fawlty hitting the car with a tree branch.
“I’m putting you under citizen’s arrest. And you. And you…” pointing at the 11-year-old in the car 
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The list of most commonly confiscated items at airport security - surprising entry at no 10
Most commonly confiscated items
- Snow globes
- Jams and spreads
- Toiletries
- Jars of chutney and pickles
- Olive oil
- Wine
- Spirits
- Marmite
- Nutella chocolate spread
- Furry handcuffs
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Reminds me a bit of the bad old days, with mongboard super sleuths trying to establish the identity of some obscureTrialists in pre season games, even to the extent of comparing ear lobes … bizarre days
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this made me smile - man’s ingenuity in a crisis
In late 1944, Major Hunter Reinburg, commanding officer of 122 Squadron of the American Marine Corps, had a hankering for ice cream.
Not surprising perhaps, since he was posted to the sweltering, jungle-covered South Pacific island of Peleliu.
So Hunter set his resourceful team of aircraft engineers to work on Operation Freeze.
After some trial and error, they found that by mounting a large can filled with milk onto the underside of each wing tip of their fighter planes, attaching a stirring shaft to a wind-driven propeller, and then undertaking a training sortie at 30,000 feet, they could supply 100 servicemen with a helping of ice cream every day, whilst simultaneously provoking the Japanese to waste a few shells trying to bring them down.
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If I remember my history lessons correctly, the ear lobes in question belonged (or didn’t) to Arsenal’s David Dein.
And he wasn’t going to be tearing up the wing as a trialist anytime soon but instead he was about to invest massive amounts of cash in SFC.
Fond memories.
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haha Gene Simooooo-ns 
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It’s the English Iron Man
That is proper laugh-out-loud hilarious.
More background here - including the fact that he tests the jetpack midweek because that is when his wife is at work:
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Thanks to Bathsaint who posted this link in the Brexit thread…
Brexit voter Margaret Gerving said: “I never really knew what Brexit meant anyway. I just wanted it, passionately, with every fibre of my being.”
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