Pah … I was going to post that hours before you, but couldn’t get the url link to work … and look at all the likes you owe me now 
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commentator on the womans England v Scotland Womans football.
" the Scotland goalkeeper Spread herself well"
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest,
‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’
‘What do you mean, almost?’ the priest said.
‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’
The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying,
I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’
‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in.
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I fucking love Fiona Bruce. Have you got any more photos ofher?
Fuck me, this lady nearly became our Prime Minister 
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Oh dear. Fiona Bruce wouldn’t have made such a horrible gaff
Jane Austen is my favourite I am srs! I read them all the time. I am read Mansfield Park most recently. That is a good one cos the main character is called Fanny so you get people saying things like, “I cannot be satisfied without Fanny.” You can’t tell me Austen didn’t know what she was doing. The plot is good too. There’s a bro and he wants to fuck a girl, but he can’t because her brother fucks his sister, so what he does is fuck his other sister, who is also his cousin.
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Did Ms Austen reside in Portsmouth at all. during her life?
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lol ln all srs, yes she did. I know more bout Austen than I care to admit srs.
I was driving through Wales with a friend of mine who is dyslexic.
He was studying the road signs when all of a sudden he shouted,
“Fuck me, I’m cured.”
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Could happen to anyone …
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I can’t skip past this without giving it another play … I know you shouldn’t laugh at a a childs misfortune but … . LOL
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Well, in Mansfield Park the character Fanny was born and raised in that shithole. She ends up marrying her cousin, which I think is where Austen lost it somewhat and let her plot enter the realms of fantasy. In the real world Fanny would never have married such a distant relative.
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From the report
Interestingly, for the good of your health, research has shown that ejaculating 21 times a month can reduce your risk of contracting prostate cancer by up to a third.
Us offshore workers do it for our health. 