Apparently Yoko Ono tweeted âGive us some advice that will make our lives heal and shineâ
Some of the best responses are below, some funny some not so funny:
¡ The little arrow next to the pump logo tells you which side of the car the tank filler hatch is on.
Charlie OâMalley @charliebadger99
¡ Turn your tins of beans upside down when you put them in the cupboard, that way none get stuck in the bottom when you open them.
Matt Stephens @MStephens1977
¡ Always check there is paper, before you sit down.
graham davies @GJDavies001
¡ Clear nail varnish makes ideal Tippex for people who donât make mistakes.
Berk On A Bike @Berk_On_A_Bike
Mike Duckett @duckett_mike
¡ Lids are held on jars through⌠a vacuum, not because they are screwed on tight. Put a spoon under the lip of the lid, lift and break the seal and the lid will lift off easily.
Denise Mina @DameDeniseMina
¡ Donât split up the Beatles when they have a few albums left in them.
The Nafemeister @nafemeister
¡ If youâre commuting from Barnsley to Sheffield a McDonaldâs coffee is now 10p cheaper at Tankersley than at Meadowhall Retail Park.
John Broom @barnsleyrunner
¡ Demand higher taxes for the rich, open borders, a working welfare state and basic income everywhere.
Sonja Dolinsek @sonjdol
¡ Eat day old Yorkshire puddings with chilli sauce.
John Sturgis @sturgios
¡ If you marry into the British Royal Family always wear a seat belt.
BonesVanHalen @bones_van
¡ A decent pair of oven gloves is worth 1,000 towels.
Disappointed Optimist @disappoptimism
¡ Letâs stop being afraid of what could go wrong and letâs start being positive about what could go right.
Tee @tee_scent
¡ Take your coat off indoors, or you wonât feel the benefit when you go outside.
Matt Ruddell @MattRuddell
¡ Rescue a magpie. Teach him to say Merry Christmas.
Penelope Pendragon @PenPendragon
¡ Donât eat the yellow snow.
Rev Mike Wilson @PoetTaxiDriver
¡ Eat the yellow snow. Yellowest snow is the ripest.
Dr Ilke Turkmendag @IlkeTurkmendag
¡ Be kind and useful. Donât take offence when none is meant. The joy of comfortable shoes is not to be underestimated.
Kate Cunningham @Katie759
¡ Avoid flat-roofed pubs.
Brixton Bum @pejro
¡ Donât keep lightbulbs in your back pocket.
petrol gibbon @njalskinner
¡ Lidl have superb Ceramic frying pans.
mickey1 @caromitchell1
¡ Never be sick into a wire mesh basket.
Brian OâKeefe @rider45
¡ Seek out comedy. Laugh more.
Jeff Cohen @JeffCohenwriter
¡ Thermal vests are underrated. Use one, you wonât regret it.
John Shiel @JohannShiel
¡ Make your packed lunch before you go to bed because you wonât be arsed to in the morning and youâll end up eating a Greggs again.
Beverley Friend @beverbeverley
¡ Peanut butter, crispy bacon, and bananas go strangely well together in sandwiches.
Bruce McPherson @brucemcpherson
¡ When visiting Paultons Park, place your trousers under the mattress before going to bed. It helps keep the crease.
Alex Lester @alexthedarklord
¡ A Pringles lid fits on a can of beans if you only need half a can for your fry-up.
Rammer @Rammer666
¡ A plastic milk bottle top makes a great water bowl for a pet shrew.
Mark Rae @markrae
¡ Old telephone directories make great address books. Simple cross out the names of all the people you donât know
PhillipNotPhilip @mcgough_p
¡ Donât take laxatives if you have a tickly cough.
Archbishop Poet @morrissey2020
¡ Get in early and go round clockwise, the queues for rides will be shorter, nearly everyone goes the other way.
Dinga @DingaSurfbunny
¡ Soup boil, soup spoil.
Ben Rowe @benrowe
¡ Donât talk to your husband in too much detail or about anything serious until heâs been awake for at least 30 minutes and has had a strong cup of tea.
rjsc42 @rjsc42
¡ Use hairspray to remove sticky label marks from glass jars.
Chantel Fromtheshire @FebruaryStars70
¡ You can use washing up liquid to make shower screen doors open and close more easily. Just reapply once in a while.
KMarxette @KMarxette
¡ Never attempt a winter invasion on three fronts at once.
James Roy @jamesroywriter
¡ Rescue a dog. It might save both of your lives.
@philtilston
¡ Rub a spoon on your fingers under a cold running tap to get rid of the smell of garlic.
Eleanor Rugbi @EleanorRugbi
¡ A canal may look narrow enough to jump across - theyâre notâŚ
Lawrence @lawclarke72
¡ Use the edge of a teaspoon to peel ginger.
Reggie @aahbetty
¡ Never tie your shoe laces in a revolving door.
Scott Plews @plewsey24
¡ If your bed is freezing or you are cold- use a hair dryer on your mattress for a few seconds before jumping in. Much better than a hot water bottle
Iâm sure Philippine saint will enjoy this.
I could do with a woman sitting on my face right now
They make you walk on water to work on the rig and you have to catch your own dinner on the way?!
Thank fuck for that, I am so fed up of my son using Americanisms, the worse one being âcan I getâ instead of âcan I haveâ
Was General Noriega holed up in there?
Someone should check their posting history Dejavu_Phil
PC gone mad innit :-
Iâve played netball. My superior strength and good looks gave me no advantage whatsoever.