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A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving
relationship with their husbands.
The women were asked, âHow many of you love your husband?â
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, âWhen was the last time you told your husband you
loved him?â
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldnât remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their
husband - âI love you, Sweetheart.â
Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and
read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.
Below are 12 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a
while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who
else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?
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Who the hell is this?
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Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
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Yeah, and I love you too. Whatâs wrong?
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What now? Did you wreck the car again?
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I donât understand what you mean.
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What the hell did you do now?
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Donât beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need.
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Am I dreaming?
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If you donât tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
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I thought we agreed you wouldnât drink during the day. (My personal
favourite!) -
Your mother is coming to stay with us, isnât she?
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Now that is a bit hardcore
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Beware⌠comedy Statue alert
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Spoilsport ⌠raced over here to pinch it off you but way too slow of the mark
⌠rubbish joke anyway 
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Lol it was on my fb feed but cant copy those to here hence dumpwd it on twitter so could post it before you 
âSince Valentineâs Day is for a Christian saint and weâre Jewish,â she asks, "Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?
Thelmaâs father thinks a bit then says "No, I donât think God would get mad.
Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
âThe whole Isis group,â she says.
âWhy them,â her father asks in shock?
âWell,â she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give them a valentine, they might start to think that maybe weâre not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit.
And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to them, theyâd love everyone a lot. And then theyâd start going all over the place telling everyone how much they loved them and how they didnât hate anyone anymore."
Her fatherâs heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride.
"Thelma, thatâs the most wonderful thing Iâve ever heard. "
âI know,â Thelma says, âand once that gets them out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of them.â
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Popped up on my FB Memories today - worth a repeat
A Higgs boson particle walks into Church. The Priest says âWe donât allow Higgs bosons in hereâ. The Higgs boson replies âBut if Iâm not here, how will you have Mass?â
No I donât understand it either 
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Read till the end for the moderately amusing bit 
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I donât get it PS, is it an engineer thing? I donât want to use up precious time looking it up so please explain 
nevermind I get it now, itâs like a real life catchphrase thing. As you were people.
In case anyone else was wondering itâs âThe wrong levelsâ, like that phrase when you get out of a lift on the wrong floor 2 or 3 times in a row, and you say âhow do I keep ending up on the wrong levelsâ. Quite clever really, I expect Iâm the only person who has cracked it. There should be a picture of a spirit level with the word ârightâ taped on it for me, because I am âright on the levelâ with this one.
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Or is it âlevel crossingâ? Because when you are wrong you mark it with a cross which symbolises âwrongâ, yes thatâs it âlevel crossingâ.
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