Ive been off my fucking rocker since I came out my ma’s front bum in '84.
Lol.
Jamie Redknapp joins the Paul Merson school of punditry
Half expected the ‘one man’ to be Brendan, tbh.
Shakespeare sacked apparently.
Why not? He is better than Klopp apparently.
Hahahahaha
The bicycle that broke Ed Sheeran’s arm has been awarded an MBE after it was revealed this week that the 26-year-old may not be able to perform again this year.
The bicycle, a mountain bike that would like to remain anonymous, was awarded the prestigious honour for ‘services to musical taste’ in a last-minute ceremony held earlier today.
The family of the bicycle expressed their immense pride at the news of the honour, which they claim was completely unexpected.
“It’s such an honour to see our child recognised in this way,” said R. Chopper, the bicycle’s father.
“His cousin has always been the star in the bicycle family, after he threw Bono off a couple of years ago and dislocated his shoulder, forcing cancellations of so many U2 gigs.
“But we never thought our boy would ever achieve anything like this, not with him just being a push bike and everything.
“But to see him make such a positive contribution to the world around him gives such a huge sense of pride for me and his mum.”
Musical experts said that the bicycle was only awarded an MBE because technically Ed Sheeran can still sing.
“If the bike had managed to damage his vocal chords, or somehow rendered him mute, then we’re in ‘Knighthood’ territory,” explained Simon Williams, an expert in the Commonwealth honours system.
Fans of the singer have been reassured following news of the star’s recent injury with the announcement that a 97-hour recording of Sheeran undergoing physical therapy would automatically be available to download on iTunes by Friday.
Oh, I thought you said Snakespeare.
et tu Brute
This Coventry fan kind of reminds me of all the fiverweb crew - but took it one step further!
Full story here : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-4990728/Coventry-fan-lambasts-losing-Forest-Green.html
+7
One Coventry fan hopped over the advertising hoardings during their clash with Forest Green
+7
He ran towards Forest Green forward Christian Doidge in order to close him down
+7
He then proceeded to lambaste the Coventry players for falling a goal behind in the fixture
At what point was a steward going to consider getting on the pitch and grabbing him?
The bird at the end looked like she was showing him back to his seat!!
haha that little ‘run’ he does at 10 seconds in is great 
Chaplow’s still got it. Bring him back!
Kevin de Bruyne wants Neymar level wages!!
De Bruyne’s agent, Patrick De Koster, has told Radio CRC (h/t Mikael McKenzie of the Daily Express) the player wants better terms: “But if you see how much Mbappe and Neymar cost you will understand how much he may cost.”
De Koster revealed talks over a new contract could start soon: “We are discussing with City and in the coming months I’ll meet the club to see how to improve and extend his contract. De Bruyne has many options because we are discussing the contract with City.”
McKenzie pointed out De Bruyne still “has four years left on his existing deal, where he is believed to earn in the region of £125,000 a week,” while Neymar and Mbappe “reportedly earn around £500,000-a-week.”
A bit of a change of pace. I wasn’t quite sure where to post this as it certainly is not funny, but I did find this image arresting.
Booooooo! Get off!
No one likes this new material, BS.
Tell us one of your old ones