😆 When I Saw This I Laughed Or At Least I Smiled Or At Least I Wasn’t Bored MK II

Monkey Tennis
1863

Ed Sheeran’s local? :thinking::grin:

4 Likes
1864

They play that phrase through a klaxon every time he’s within 50 miles of Liverpool. Gives people a chance to get out

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1865
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1866

An extract about someone moaning about middle class camping

Festivals

All the fun of camping but without… any of the fun of camping. Noisy, smelly, cramped, crowded, terrible acoustics, unidentifiable slurry sucking at your wellies — and all that, of course, is just the portaloos. Being stuck in the same place as a load of drug dealers and one-weekend-a-year hippies is exactly what camping was invented to get away from. You might as well bivvy down in the middle of Camden Town.

Bestivals

See above, then add ‘with sleep-deprived toddlers’ to the mix. Dante would need another nine-to-eleven Circles of Hell to do the idea justice.

4 Likes
1867

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1868
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1869

Hmm, sounds like a recently retired forum member…

6 Likes
1870

I’m having Aubergine Curry Dal on Herby Flatbread with Chicken Caviar for lunch as it happens. I may stroll up the lane to The Crown for a few pints of Yaks milk afterwards. We have very exotic tastes in Liverpool don’t you know!

1 Like
1871

He was definitely pro rushing in all the time, facts or not.

2 Likes
1872
1 Like
1873

I only wish I had had the chance to mention it on the Ukraine thread….

Has anyone won yet? :man_shrugging:t3: (No need to answer btw)

1874

Well what is funny is that I invited people to start a new thread and no-one has.

1 Like
1875

My money was on @Donkey_Schlong

1876

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1877

Oh, ffs :man_facepalming:

1878

I did a blood test on a garden frog to extract its DNA and confirm its identity.
I discovered the frog was 70% British, 20% French, 7% Italian, 2% Dutch and a tad Pole.

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1879

See my last response to @Polski_Filip

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1880

:man_facepalming:
And obviously nicked

1 Like
1881

It’s retaliation time!!! :+1::+1::grin:

There is a job in the newspaper that say its requirements are: Bilingual, mathematical and good with computers.

So a dog walks in to the office with a note in his mouth saying he can do all the things asked and he drops this note on the desk of the receptionist.

The receptionist is astounded and calls the manager immediately. The manager comes down and says “alright then, you’ll have to prove your claim. Firstly, you have to be good with computers.” The dog runs to the computer behind the desk and types up his CV.

The manager says “Very good. But you’ve got to be mathematical and we have a test on that. You’ve got an hour to complete it.” The manager puts the test in the dogs mouth and the dog wanders off.

The dog comes back an hour later and gives the test to the manager. The manager quickly marks it and says “Exceptional, 100%. But you’ve also got to be bilingual.”
The dog replies “Meow.”

6 Likes
1882

:roll_eyes::joy: