Is one of them called Dawn?
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Oh FFS
Yeah I think sheâs getting the worst of itâŚbut theyâre still going at it so it depends who tires first. 
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I still think thatâs being too kind to the bald cunt.
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Donât say that sort of thing when Will Smith is in earshot
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Weâre visiting daughter #2 in Leeds this weekend. Brilliant stroke of luck that, coincidentally, Saints are playing there on Saturday!
Anyway, in honour of our visit, daughterâs partner repaints the bedroom window sill that was a little marked. Daughter leaves the door open. Daughterâs cat (a Leeds fan) walks all over the paintwork and then the bed and carpet. Fortunately his paws were fairly dry by the time he made the lounge. 
Donât know which was worse: cleaning the trail of chaos or cleaning one confused and angry cat.
We have been warned to show enormous appreciation of the lovely new paintwork.
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Donât knock it. Rumour has it that Parfittâs replacement is something of a savant. He learned to play all their songs in under an hour, apparently.
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As long as that? Admittedly the lyrics do vary, but it is only one song after allâŚ
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They were my cousinâs favourite band.
I used to refer to them as Status Chord a lot in his presence. We, er, donât talk much anymore⌠
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