Should have called those boots Prey.
BBQ RULES:
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed â her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that thereâs just no pleasing some women
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Last year we had one BBQ that went a bit like
Ayatollah says her family are coming and they want pulled pork on the smoker
Cb buys the appropriately sized half pig to feed the gannets
Ayatollah then announces that food needs to be served at 2pm
CB frowns and and starts counting back
CB realises that the meat needs to go on at 5am so that meant a 4am starts
CB swears long and hard
I donât understand the problem. So what if your wife has to get up at 4am to put the meat on? Surely she can get out of bed without waking you?? 
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Donât you ever read other posts? Like THE BBQ rues just two posts up?
Woman touching BBQ meat?
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Surely that should have said âBurn them at the Steakâ
YeahâŚ
Bloody Google
Immigrants being unpopular with locals.
What a surpriseâŚ
Family whose move abroad featured in a Channel 4 show flee back to Britain after Portuguese villageâŚ
Thatâs highly amusing Phil, had me in stitches. Particularly the bit where they moved there after buying their own house and paying their own way, and not expecting the Portuguese taxpayer to house and fund them. No wonder the locals were upset.
https://twitter.com/haveigotnews/status/1779841805875331296?t=FnLkPMzV3lyTpaJfdiJHpA&s=19
Beijing half marathon: Organisers investigating controversial finish -
I am delighted that the common earthworm has won âInvertebrate of the Yearâ against a lot of opposition, mainly MPs.
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Thatâs clickbait if ever I saw it. 
The first thing I always ask when interviewing a potential new secretary is âwhat exactly do you bring to the table?â
