Technically, thatâs not a dream, itâs a nightmare.
Got something in my eye godammit
Iâm delighted to say that my greatest mayoral achievement has been standing up to the staid geriatric population and backing an application for a new wine bar in my little town. Itâs a great success and Iâm revelling in the outrage caused by its brilliant name. The bar has many pictures of birds and is called âThe Warbling Titâ 
AKA âSheeranâsâ.
Very good. And correct. It has indeed been thus renamed by the wittier amongst us.
His song A Team is a load of shit.
Doesnât contain a single mention of Hannibal, Face, Murdoch or B.A âBad Attitudeâ Baracas.
Fucksake. 
I hate it when a pun comes together.
Well itâs shit - especially when he does it live. Remember that due to my Big Ground camping exploits Iâve had to listen to the bastard do it twice at Glastonbury.
Itâs even less convincing then, being as it is, a song about moving from Class B drugs to Class A drugs and also being as it is, sung in a field where people are off their fucking trollies on Class A drugs.