😆 When I Saw This I Laughed Or At Least I Smiled Or At Least I Wasn’t Bored MK II

Monkey Tennis
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I thought you were in Grenada?

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Unfortunately I am back in this shitty weather

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:man_facepalming:

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desperate-times
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You’ll get an idea of the WhatsApp media I typically receive daily when I say that I was fully expecting a cock there. :unamused::smile:

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Any musicians here that fancy sorting out the arrangement for this? Christmas Number One right here! :smiley:

@OzSaintDave? :smiley:

My Old Man

Verse 1

When my old man
Crashed his car into my van
I said “it’s ok dad, that’s fine”

When my old man
Goes out and robs a nan
I turn a blind eye to his crime

When my old man
Gets released from the can
I pick him up outside the front

But when my old man
Says be a Pompey fan
I say “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”

Chorus

My old man said be a Pompey fan
I said “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”

My old man said be a Pompey fan
I said “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”

It isn’t healthy.
It isn’t right.
Team and city
Are fucking shite

(whoa)

My old man said be a Pompey fan
I said “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”

Verse 2

When my old man
Picks up shit with his hands
He puts those turds into his mouth

'Cos my old man
Comes from the land
Where people think a bus shelter’s a house

When my old man
Says my sister is my nan
I’m not quite sure it’s a stunt

But when my old man
Says “be a Pompey fan”
I say fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt.

Chorus

My old man said be a Pompey fan
I said “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”

My old man said be a Pompey fan
I said “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”

It isn’t healthy.
It isn’t right.
Team and city
Are fucking shite

(whoa)

My old man said be a Pompey fan
I said “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”

Verse 3

My old man
Has a tattoo upon his glands
Says “I’m Pompey til I fucking die”

My old man
Wanks on benches in parklands
And splashes all the passers by

My old man
I can barely understand
Cos he talks primarily in grunts

But when my old man
Says “be a Pompey fan”

I said “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”.

Chorus

My old man said be a Pompey fan
I said “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”

My old man said be a Pompey fan
I said “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”

It isn’t healthy.
It isn’t right.
Team and city
Are fucking shite

(whoa)

My old man said be a Pompey fan
I said “fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt”

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It’s good, it’s relevant but basically singing ANY song about the Skates is just plain wrong. :frowning:

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Even if it casts them as total shitbirds?

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I always thought the chorus was ‘fuck off, bollocks, you’re a cunt’ :thinking:

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Perhaps. It can be changed :slight_smile:

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I’ve asked the old man.

I hope you’re right. I’d like to have children sing bits of the chorus a la Another Brick In The Wall.

Easier to get parental approval with bollocks :smiley:

EDIT - the Papfather has spoken. When the Pompey mob arrive riding dogs, I want it clear that @gavstar and @unionhotel are co-writers.

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I thought that was a given.

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Let’s engage wildest fantasy mode.

Wouldn’t it be great if kids in playgrounds across the country were singing that?

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Kids, using such language?? I’m appalled. :rage: As you’re aware, I’ve long advocated a swear filter on here in case young eyes are viewing.