Or he can sign them 
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Exactly
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Ooh. Squires gets political!
Advent calendars - you can get Booze ones, beauty ones, all sorts
Just seen an advert for a Love Honey one - a new daily sex toy for 24 days
Fuck only knows what is behind door 24
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18 inch black mamba anal intruder?
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Is that what you’ve put top of your Christmas gift wish list?
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Yeah, the original is getting a bit worn. Might trade up… 
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Day 1 should the little blue lozenge.
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An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane and he turned to him and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.
“Okay,” he said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The atheist, visibly surprised by the old cowboy’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the cowboy replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?”
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You’ve missed the Jewish knight, Sir Cumcision.
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The knight who was a cunt: Sir Vix
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