Yep I can still get into the suit I’m gonna be laid out in. 
2 Likes
I’m Covid-19 beach fit 
2 Likes
You are too far gone
1 Like
I’m heavier than I’ve ever been, but that was by design 
I’d add that since peaking at 14 stone 3, I did actually knuckle down, cut out the chocs and lose just under a stone. But I’m still a 36 waist, compared with 29 aged 21.
I have back slid somewhat over the last 2 yrs
Or in common parlance “Je suis un fat cunt”
2 Likes
Food on oil rigs must really suck plus the fact you can’t drink 6 months of the year
2 Likes
Pork quoi?
Geddit? 
2 Likes
Qua Le fuck?
1 Like
Drunk Turkish man joins search party looking for himself
Man who went missing in woodland was only discovered when a rescue team member called his name and he replied ‘I am here‘
ByJames Rothwell, MIDDLE EAST CORRESPONDENT30 September 2021 • 5:41pm
A Turkish man who was reported missing after he wandered off from his friends while drunk unwittingly joined his own search party.
According to Turkish media reports, relatives of the man, Beyhan Mutlu, raised the alarm about him going missing on Tuesday.
For several hours, Mr Mutlu’s friends and family had been unable to find him, prompting them to set up a search party in the forest where he had disappeared.
But Mr Mutlu, 50, eventually stumbled across one of the groups in the woods and joined their search. He was only discovered when someone called out his name and he replied “I am here.”
7 Likes
That is fucking brilliant 
Yes, because I was a fat cunt at 21.
Ah, I almost forgot those immortal lines from Red Dwarf immortalized by Carter U S M
Essential listening for all:
The two things that made nearly all my friends fall in love with Liverpool back in the '90s were:-
- The £1.50 pint
- “Last orders” in English meaning “lock in” in scouse
2 Likes
Ffs
1 Like
The Pied Piper of Gravelling.
2 Likes
I would reverse just to make sure
3 Likes
