Was just going to bed when

…the funning air ambulance landed on the green outside my house.

For a minute I thought I was going to get an anal probe and a return ticket to alpha centuri.

This just in…

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I trust you shouted some well timed “cunts” at them

Yeah, followed by “who do you think you are coming round here, saving lives like Berty Big Bollocks. Fuck off and take that corpse with you.”

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And this is him fucking off…

That’s just the new Uber cab service bringing your neighbour back home after his late shift.

You can expect that every week-night from now on.

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During F1 (Abu Dhabi) week, you actually have an option on your Uber App here for the Uber Helicopter.
About 100 quid per person to go the 160km to the race track if you get 5 or more.
HTH

One of them (are there more?!) woke me up at 3.00 am the other night as they were searching for ne’er-do-wells who seem to take delight in turning over sheds and garages round our way. However, the last thing i thought about was an anal probe, bletch, i’m not sure you can get that on the NHS outside office hours.

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Calling Goat to the forum…